I wasn’t gonna do it, I really wasn’t. I thought about it for a day and was leaning towards letting it pass by, but it’s just too delicious of a morsel, to succulent of a bite… hell it might be a glorious meal. Seriously, how can I not when this conservative shitbag just makes it so easy? It seems Randy “the bed” Hopper was out celebrating another Packer win and done went and got himself a DUI while having a child, one Valerie C(r)ass in his car. What an asshole. Did the DUI happen because he’s a conservative? No, of course not, but it makes it all the more delicious because this is the same asshole that campaigned on family values. He’s always bragged about an unfaltering moral compass and a devotion to justice and the people of Wisconsin. Lying piece of conservative shit. Want a better video of his arrest? Check out the police cruiser dash cam video. It’s a long one, but you can just skim through it to the fun parts. It goes to show the long hard work involved with dragging these DUI shitbags to justice. “Overpaid union thug!” scream the teabaggers. “Let him go!” Do you think there was a quiet satisfaction within this officer being able to haul Randy in after the underhanded shit that ex-senator (feels so good to say that) supported without delay? Randy attacked that officer’s livelihood. There must be a good feeling in there somewhere.

Randy "the bed" Hopper. Supporting family values one drink at a time. He really is just like his redneck constituents.

I’m just happy this asshole got caught before he killed someone. He should be deeply ashamed, so ashamed that he locks himself in a rubber room, throws away the key, and drinks himself into oblivion to prevent a repeat offense (trust me when I say he WILL be a repeat offender). But conservatives are never ashamed of their despicable behavior. Is it because that’s the only behavior they’re capable of? Reminds me of that asshole Jeffrey Wood from Chippewa Falls who was busted for forging prescriptions for narcotics. Seriously, can’t these despicable conservatives have the decency to rid themselves from the human gene pool? Clearly not Randy with his eager to please, enabling girlfriend Valerie C(r)ass. I wonder how long before she shits out his first disgusting bipedal abomination? Is she seriously that desperate for affection that she’s snuggling up to this pedophile lookin’ mother fucker? Sad… and disgusting. That bitch actually verbally attacked the man for tailing Randy and for calling the police to their location. Can your anger be any more misdirected or juvenile? Are you sure you’re 25 and not 5? How’s that for an enabling redneck girlfriend? Git ‘er done Wisconsin!!!

Now the dipshit conservative voters of this state will defend him, screaming about the memory of Peggy Lautenschalger. “But… but… but… she did it!!! She’s badder. Uh derpa derp!” You know what morons? She’s an asshole too. She’s not off the hook, but at least she doesn’t have a crispy crust of hypocrisy to go with her scandal. Family values my ass. Conservative assholes. Somehow I’m sure these dedicated GOP simpletons will try to pin this on that ineffectual Barack Obama, and that’s fine. When you’re dealing with the “But he/she did it first!” mentality (all teabaggers) that’s what you have to expect. Most of these redneck intellectual lightweights probably think DUI laws are idiotic anyway. Well assholes, why don’t you have a few road brews in solidarity with your friend Randy. Protest that shit! If you please, just remove your seat belt, hit the gas, and aim for a tree instead of some kid on his bicycle. Wastes of oxygen… all of you.

Peace,

Sturm

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