"Tee hee. Hey fellow plutocrats. Let's turn the capitol into my superdee duperdee fort! Tee hee! It's so much more funner than the pillows I use in my mansion! Guards! Bring me my book of fairy tales... I mean my bible and tuck me in!"

It appears the hypocrisy of the Rethuglican party knows no bounds. They took the constitution, especially the part about free speech, and wiped their sweaty and fecal encrusted asses upon it when they locked down the capitol and brought in an army of police officers to hold the violent droves at bay. Anyone else find it ironic that the gigglin’ gopher is willing to pay some 2.1 million dollars for police overtime thus far and in the same breath cries about a budget crisis? Thankfully, the judicial branch stepped in and cut down the legislative branch’s pathetic attempts at squelching us dangerous, violent, and irrational demonstrators. Thank you, Judge John Albert. I just wish your ruling was immediate, not delayed until Monday. That’s slightly weak, but at least we won this battle.

I was downtown last evening to peruse the chaos that is present anytime liberal demonstrators get together. When I arrived, there were about 50 people at the one entrance to the capitol… I mean Gov Goofy’s playhouse. It disgusted me that so few people were there. It was disconcerting to me that the protests seemed to have dwindled. I started getting really depressed while talking to a worker from Michelangelo’s on State who have been giving out free coffee from the start of this shitty mess. We figured the money and enthusiasm had run out. Then I heard about a protest parade. Not getting my hopes up, I met my fiancee and we walked down to library mall. Holy shit am I glad we did. Perhaps ten thousand violent, freedom hatin’, communist protesters were marching up the street. The entire length of the street was filled with angry screams demanding death to all of the Republican legislators and the weak-willed police officers that protect them. It was fucking awesome! As we all marched down the street, not one store front remained undamaged. I bet we did 16 million dollars in damage. It was badass! I made off with a shit ton of jewelery and patchouli incense from Shakti after smashing their windows. Fuck those hippy, liberal, peace loving bastards who condone loving their fellow humans. They have no business here in the New Wisconsin Republic. Yeehaw!

"My name's Scott. Despite my cocky smirk, I'm scared shitless that these liberals are going to allow Arabs to come and takeover this great country of mine... err I mean... ours. Yeah, OURS. It's Obama's plan! It is! As if growing up in Kenya warn't bad enough! Also, when Sturm stands outside my office window heckling me, it hurts my feelings. My walrus skin is only so thick."

Although Faux Noise would have you believe that’s what happened, it’s not. It was an amazing, cooperative, and… get this… PEACEFUL demonstration of our basic civil rights, something the constipated gopher and his main henchman senate majority leader Scott Fitzgerald believe should be repealed immediately. Scott. Scottie. Scottie fucking Fatzherald of doom. What a massive tub of unethical shit he is. I have spent four out of the last five days down there standing below his window, shouting at him, demanding he show his flapping jowls. Believe it or not, this fat fuck shows his face every time. I let him know that I and everyone else is watching him. I scream how shameful he is. I maintain eye contact until this disgusting Rush Limbaugh wannabe waddles away. Sturm: 1, Fat unethical walrus: 0. What is it with fat, disgusting Republicans as of late? Oh, and before you criticize, ad hominem attacks are one hundred percent justified with assholes (a kind description) like this. It is not the reason for their corruption and behavior, but it is something to attack them with. Rush does it all the time. Let’s aim their cannons of ignorance back against them and fire every round we have.

I implore all of you to join me in heckling this shit stain on the underwear that is humanity. His office is easy to find. It is on the side facing MLK, and is in the wing on the west side. It is the third window up (the arched ones) and it is the LAST one on the left. I will place a sign in the grass this weekend. Go there. Taunt him. Shout your disapproval. There’s strength in numbers. Let this senate ma-whore-ity leader know he is a piece of shit. Let him know he fucked with the wrong state. Let him know we’re not taking his bullshit any longer. Happy heckling!