The pain of the epic failure of Tuesday August 9th, 2011 still stings. It really stings. Making me... feel... feverish... a bit... hungry... if... you will... braaaains! Teeeeeetarrrrrrrd need braaaains!

Okay people. I have licked my still flowing wounds and fantasized about kicking the living shit out of teatards and have decided that I’m not going to let the defeat of the progressive agenda in this state for a generation to come prevent me from continuing with the necessary attack on the teatarded in our midst. These people are acrid shit stains that need to be disinfected and bleached time and time again. They’re like nasty pit stains on a white tee shirt that need vicious chemical treatment. Actually, check that. I just moved out of a one-hundred year old condemnable shit hole that was infested with mice and centipedes. Thankfully we have cats that enjoy playing with the vermin until their hearts give out. Despite that, we couldn’t take living there anymore and we left, but I guess what I’m saying is is that teatards are actually like vermin. The battle against them is long, arduous, and seemingly impossible, but before condemning the house (or state/country in this case) we need to release some vermin hunters first (like myself and perhaps more moderate people like Dale Schultz), to try and take back what is rightfully humanity’s. You see, teatards are not really part of humanity. They fight against it in the most oxymoronic display of foolish loyalty to the powers that be (corporations, religion, totalitarian government). Wait a minute. Are they zombies? Whatever they are, they empower civilization’s decline, destruction and failure, so as a result they should be afforded the same respect we don upon our vermin and insect and I guess zombie friends… complete and utter decimation. Merciless eradication. Unending hunting. I just wish my cats were bigger and more aggressive. Gotta admit, I like mice way more than teatards. Way more.

Zombie or Kim Simac? Is there really any difference? Oh wait, there is. Flesh eating zombies are vastly more rational and productive toward the betterment of civilization.

Anyway, I’ll admit I was surprised at Holperin’s victory over that tea tardy candidate Kim Simac. Really surprised. And he didn’t just beat her. No, no, no… he didn’t stop there. Jimbo fucking crushed Bimbo. She didn’t even come close. What was it, a ten point spread? That’s fantastic. The 45% retarded population that DID vote for her only prove my point. She was a REPUBLICAN candidate. She wasn’t really a tea tardy candidate, not by a long shot. Seriously, I still can’t quite get my head around how a district that went overwhelmingly for Walker in November voted for Holperin. Way to survive TWO recalls, senator. This victory is truly the one and only grand result from the summer of recalls. It has restored just a tiny bit of my “faith”. Don’t worry, a deluge of optimism will not be flooding my soul and subsequent entries. It will NOT take the Zorn out of the Sturm.

Now before any smart conservatards (I know, right?) try and remind me, I’m well aware that Holperin is fairly moderate, and even though moderation tends not to produce results and I don’t necessarily agree with how it is implemented in the political scene, it is vastly better than extremism… on ANY side. Though I still maintain my stance that leftist extremism is indisputably less destructive than that born from the right. In fact, I don’t think leftist extremism goes anywhere near as far from center as the right’s. Ever heard of a Glenn Beck equivalent from the left? Didn’t think so, assholes.

So at least poor Kim lost. Maybe now she’ll hang out exclusively at House of Boo’s (how incredibly clever!) bar in that glorious redneck shithole  Eagle River, WI she calls home. From this day forth I’d love to see her drown her teatarded dreams in Boo’s (Hahaha! I can be clever too! See what I did there? Jah? Fucking amateurs). In the end though, this summer only proved one thing: partisanship has grown and this state is irreparably divided. There will be no quick heals, no holding hands and hugging our neighbors. There will be no forgiveness and forgetfulness (I hope) despite Scat Wanker’s attempts to appear bipartisan. Trust me, this mega-turd is incapable of being in the middle, unless it’s in a sex sandwich with Davie and Chuckie Koch on a big pile of blood money. Maybe with Glenn Beck watching as he scours the book of mor(m)on for reasons why the right’s behavior is good and pure and just? Newsflash kooky cock fer Christ… it isn’t.

As for me, I know I whined and sulked and had a tantrum about this election. I’m still pissed. I still want heads to fucking roll. Hey! I never claimed I could be rational all the time. With insane brilliance and literary fucking genius comes the occasional instability. There’s a fault line right through me that snaps every once in awhile, releasing all the pent up energy. I’d rather deal with an occasional 2.9 than that one 9.8. So I’ll keep on writing. I’ll continue to deliver unto the masses my magnanimous prolegomenon. I’ll still attack the retard right every time they step out of line, but I’m mighty tired of hyper-focusing on the failures of this political age run into the ground by the conservatards and their teabagger leeches. It is disgusting. It is taxing. It is exhausting. It is disheartening. So I’m going to pull back from the political world a bit and sometimes address the plethora of other shit that pisses me off. So that’ll be fun, huh?

Pissed,

Sturm

"God dammit!"

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