Well, I survived the hellidays. It wasn’t easy, but I did it. How did I survive, you’re asking? By avoiding it all together. I

Dale the "niggar" hatin' Robertson using his same sign to protest fair trade and humanitarian involvement overseas. Isn't he a peach?

refused to see my mother. I boycotted. Of course with this decision I simultaneously cemented my position as the black sheep of the family… at least in her distracted and deluded mind. It was actually an easy decision and I’ll tell you why. “She who let me play with dolls” rejected my and my fiancee’s Christmas gift to her about a week prior to christmas (not capitalized to emphasize insignificance). Yeah, you heard me right. She called me crying saying I’ve ruined christmas  and then refused my gift under the pathetic belief that it “wasn’t personal enough.” What a ragged god-damned bitch. We picked those gifts. We put thought into them, maybe not hours of it, but thought none-the-less. And they were purchased from a fair trade organization, something that Dale Robertson and his teabagger followers would shriek like zombies about because our money isn’t remaining stateside, supporting “deserving” American workers. Of course they couldn’t think to use such upscale phrasing. More to their liking, and I’m quoting, it would be: “I ain’t gonna give no island niggers my hard earned money. Fuck ’em if their homes were smashed by an earth quake. It was God’s will! Fuckin’ niggers. Get a job!” Well, Dale, they actually did get jobs. That’s what fair trade is all about, you fat, blabbering, racist tub of shit. The zombie apocalypse really did arrive post election 2010. I just wish it were legal to blow their fucking heads off and paint the walls with their useless brain matter.

Anyway, back to the head narcissist in my life. So the cunt refused our gifts claiming they “weren’t personal enough.” What the fuck? She is of course comparing this year’s gift to the previous year’s gift where we cooked dinner for her, but after her continuous bashing of my fiancee over the past year, claiming she’s manipulative and controlling, why the fuck would I want to do something like that again? Why would I subject my future wife to that bullshit? Why? I’d rather gouge my eye balls out with those spoons you feed babies with. You know, the ones with that soft rubber coating. I’d also rather give myself paper cuts until I’m nearly dead and then get tossed into a pool of rubbing alcohol. Seriously, how masochistic does she think I am to subject myself and my fiancee to her petulant childlike behavior? Fuck her.

So the bitch be crazy, no doubt. Maybe I’ll pray for her to be healed of her mental deformities. No really, it works. I’m serious. Check out this steaming heap of bullshit. Actually it’s merely one more fairy tale make believe piece of festering trash concocted by one of the world’s most notorious criminal organizations in an attempt to distract and redeem.

Leave it to the religious of this ill-fated planet to kickstart my rantings in perfect order. Did I ever tell you how much I hate religion? It should be outlawed for starters and then we should be allowed to murder these fucktards in their sleep. At least the ring leaders and the most conservatard and evangelical of their following (e.g. every fucking mor(m)on, every evangelical that believes man on man action is a “sin”, and every jehovah’s witless).

So let me get this straight. A criminal organization that condones boy fucking is trying to throw up a smoke screen to distract the dim witted of the world from the Vatican’s heinous crimes? Crimes that have not only transpired for many centuries, but crimes that have become more personal and more vicious within recent decades. This is what’s happening. Wake the fuck up. In one short sentence I’ve summed it up perfectly. It’s sad and actually downright horrifying to be honest that millions upon millions around the world believe that prayer can cure Parkinson’s, a neurological affliction. It would be a miracle indeed if this happened, but guess what? It didn’t. No… fucking… way. Surely people have been praying for Michael J. Fox, haven’t they? Where’s his good fortune? And ours for that matter. Wouldn’t Back to the Future IV be awesome? Maybe he could go back circa Pontius Pilate’s (awesome workout) reign and be cured by the “original miracle worker”.

This is the affect "prayers" from the Vatican versus actual denouncement and resistance of Nazi activity had on World War II. Thanks christians!

Prayer. Fucking prayer. What a joke. Prayer does nothing. It means nothing. It’s something that weak willed, brainless sycophants do to make themselves feel like they’re making a difference. It distracts them and comforts them, allowing them to say about horrible things going on that they “did” something. “I prayed about it. What more can I do? It must have been god’s will.” Here’s what you do. Volunteer. Get down in the trenches with the children dying of dehydration. Carry a bottle of water for UNICEF. Build a fucking house with Habitat for Humanity. Put your lazy ass into action so you can actually exact some fucking change. Your internal monologue with an imaginary, petulant friend is about as useful as your appendix or as useful as a teabagger’s brain cells. In other words, it isn’t.

Just the title of this article is laughable and downright fucking offensive. “Evidence mounts”? Science alone creates evidence, NOT religion. Religion refuses to deal with actual evidence for one reason and one reason alone: it doesn’t fucking exist to support their medieval claims. Period. Richard Dawkins quoted a study for his book The God Delusion (p. 85-90) that essentially analyzed that cure/recovery rates between different groups. One group was split into two, one of which was prayed for and the other was not prayed for. All of the participants were NOT aware of the element of prayer. No surprise, with these people, there was no difference in recovery or complications. The other group consisted of all people that knew about the element of prayer. Again, one was prayed for and the other was not. As for these people, the group that WAS prayed for actually suffered significantly more complications. Amazing. Wanna know the best part? This study was carried out by the religion/prayer supporters themselves, led by one “Dr.” Herbert Benson, in an attempt to adopt scientific practice and “bend it to do their will”. Fail. Of course, do you think the religious organizations acknowledged this complete failure of their agenda and hopes? Nope. They ignored it and carried on as if nothing happened. “Study? What study? Don’t know what you’re talking about,” they said. Fucking infantile amateurs. Are they fucking kidding? I’m so fed up with these fairy tale believing fools.

"I'm pope Joe. Come. Join our Christian army. Over-run the earth with ignorant, egocentric thinking. Let Darkness prevail!"

God dammit now! There is no such thing as a miracle, at least not how the Church of the Holy Boyfuckers defines it. If this fucking weak willed, self-deprecating, man servant of a whore (a.k.a. nun) is truly free of her symptoms, then she clearly did NOT have Parkinson’s. What’s that you say evil orc extra from Lord of the Rings (a.k.a. Pope Benedict)? There are “more doctors that examined her case” and confirm it was Parkinson’s? Fuck you. You paid them off. That or else they’re in undying support of the greatest scam in history (religion) and the perpetuation of its vileness. Either way, Parkinson’s is a hard disease to officially diagnose and its symptoms can be shared by a multitude of other neurological conditions. Regardless, there is NO cure for Parkinson’s, imaginary or otherwise. Shame on these quack doctors. Every one of them should be barred from ever practicing medicine, especially veterinary medicine, again. By the way, what powers does that stupid staff give you, Joe? Plus 50 to rhetoric, plus 30 against undead, and an anal assault attack with a thirty second cooldown? Goofy looking prick. Stop corralling the weak willed and force feeding them shitty fairy tales that have less chance of being real than Hans Christian fucking Anderson’s writings.

Goofy looking prick Joe says: "I want to thank Peter Jackson for allowing me to be an orc in his movies even though I was a nasty Nazi sympathizer. I didn't even need make up! Pretty neat, huh?"

This pope Joe asshole is a real piece of work. Apparently his father despised Nazism (bullshit) because it “conflicted” with the catholic (not capitalized to emphasize insignificance) faith. Really? Is that why those assholes in the vatican took such a hard line stance against Hitler and his lap dog Mussolini? Oh wait, that’s right, those catholic assholes cheered those that rolled over Europe because they were doing god’s work of delivering the jews an over-flowing glass of retribution for killing J-dog and some of his twelve cabana boys way back when. Sadistic assholes. Not that I have any love for judaism. They are as crazy as the rest, but gassing, maiming, burning, raping, starving, and torturing six million of them? Fucking hell that evil shit makes my head hurt. Don’t give me that shit that the vatican didn’t know about these atrocities. They knew. I’d bet my life on it. Their silence spoke fucking volumes. If you read the pope’s present Wikipedia entry, it seems to have been doctored by the vatican officials. There’s barely a whisper of his Hitler youth days and service in the German military. If he really was so torn up about his Down’s Syndrome cousin being murdered by Nazis (which is fucking horrible and heartbreaking if true) then why didn’t that fucking coward stand up against those vile Nazi fucks? If someone close to me was murdered by American soldiers, I would hunt every one of them down, torture them, and kill them without pause and with even less remorse. At the very least I would protest and fight them until end times making sure they did no harm to anyone else. I’d die trying, but it’d be worth it because my soul would rest easy knowing I stood up for what was right and what was just. But no, instead this sheep coward allowed himself to be drafted, and then served Hitler obediently, and when and ONLY when the Americans drew near, he finally abandoned his post. Pathetic. He was then and still is part of the problem. A big fucking part. Starting with that infallibility bullshit. Since the vatican has over turned previous pope rulings, what does that say about their fragile faith? Actually it destroys it. It completely discredits it. Those popes spoke the word of “god” and now suddenly those words are wrong? What a joke. It should discredit religion completely, ushering it into non-existence, but of course the problem remains. It rolls on. It gains momentum.

Why? Simple math. Insane fucking numbers: 2.2 billion crazy christians, 1.6 billion misogynistic muslims, 1 billion heinous hindus, 18 million jack-ass jews, and perhaps another 2 billion misled miscellaneous. Every last one of you is pathetic. You’re destroying this world and humanity’s chance for survival with your sad, sadistic, infantile beliefs and comprehensions of the universe. Fuck all y’all. Until you pass on into nothingness, we don’t stand a chance. Please. Start a war with each other. Wipe out every last one of you (especially you christians, muslims, and jews), leaving perhaps a tiny 2.5% (atheists and agnostics) of earth’s ridiculous 6.9 billion population to live in relative peace and harmony.

Be a model catholic. Rub these for good luck, world peace, and freedom from guilt!

For those of you who are saying you’ll pray for me, stop rubbing your stupid anal beads and save your breath. You’re an idiot. Do something more useful like finding a sacrificial altar and driving a dagger into your heart. Centeotl is thirsty for blood. Wouldn’t want our supply of high fructose corn syrup to dry up, would you? Fools.

Until next time…