"Fuck 'em. Fuck the Chinese! They done killed my pappy at Pearl Harbor!... What the fuck you talkin' about they weren't there? Japanese. Chinese. What's the diff'rence? Who gives a donkey dick? Their eyes look the same so good 'nuff fer me!"

The dim-witted uber-patriots of this grand… I mean bland country of ours have new bits of info to fuel their rhetoric and bullshit, pathetic posturing. It appears China will not match the U.S. in military might. Hmmm. How uninteresting. How bland and completely uninspired. How UNsurprising. You know who’s excited about this tid bit besides Boeing, Lockheed, Sikorsky, Walbridge, etc., etc? People who like to watch cars drive in a fucking circle at 186 mph. Yup. Teabaggers.

I know, I know I rip on these shit stains a lot, but it’s so easy… and fun. You see, the thing about the uber pats that brag about military might and the U.S.’s superiority, are direct brain descendents of the morons that thought we could win in Vietnam. Newsflash. We didn’t. Not even fucking close. What the teabaggers don’t realize, is that the modern day battlefield has changed a lot. It’s no longer jungles or deserts or cities, it’s cyberspace. It’s on the internets, the crazy series of tubes that bring them their NASTARD highlights and pictures of the Miller girls and brave intrepid gigolos fucking livestock. You know, that place where they can stream Glenn Beck 24/7 or make fun of field reporters having seizures.

"Welcome to Beijing. All your gold are belong to us!"

Let me tell you something about this cyber-battlefield. The Chinese will absolutely, indisputably, swiftly crush our fucking dense, neanderthal skulls. WE… WILL… LOSE. They are smarter, more ingenious, and vastly more resourceful. You know how they got there? By spending copious amounts of money on R&D (that’s research and development for you fucking teabaggers) instead of stealth bombers. By training computer technicians behind keyboards instead of Navy boys behind torpedoes. By encouraging new ideas (despite their heinous and abominable stifling of dissension) instead of antiquated values. Yup. We lost. Seriously, what good are a thousand nuclear warheads if a primary school Chinese child can disarm them with a few swift keystrokes. Fuck you America. Fuck you Pentagon. Fuck you teabaggers. And yes… fuck you Obama (I still respect you, but grow a pair my friend). We lose. We lost decades ago when the conservatards quadrupled military expenditures to fight the big bad commies.

Oh well. Nothing to do now but kick back with some pizza, some Mountain Dew and World of Warcraft. Oh wait, the Chinese hacked my account and sold all my shit for gold. Chinese one. Superzelle zero.