"No, man. No. Shit no. I vote Republican because I wanna keep my life fan-fuckin-tastic. I got pussy, brews, farmer tans, 'n guns. What more does an upstandin', self-respectin' citizen like me need? I sure as shit ain't gonna let no "niggar" lovin' Democrat steal my guns. Now get off my property before I sick my coon hounds on ya."

I’m just gonna say it outright. The present day GOP is hands down the most spectacularly retarded political movement in the last 60 years. I mean these guys are completely devoid of intelligence, logic and sanity. Is it because the majority of their base are uneducated dim wits that need regular reminders to breathe? I’m not exaggerating. I’ve talked at length with teabagger and hard right types and they are, in a polite word, stupid. I always let them speak, but none of them can form a complete sentence let alone a coherent thought. They can’t defend their stances. They can’t say SPECIFICALLY why they support Governor Goofy or the GOP. All I read in between the lines of their ramblings are: “Cause my daddy and my daddy’s daddy voted Republican.” Well, Cletus. Your daddy’s daddy probably approved of separate drinking fountains for “those colored folks”. How admirable. A lot of grandpa types think they’re clever saying they are working to support “assholes like me that protest.” Really gramps? You’re supporting me? What government subsidies am I receiving? Where are your checks to me? Oh that’s right, you’re just talking out of your megacolon. Go overdose on milk of magnesia and leave me alone. I work, harder than you ever have or ever will, you shuffling ingrate. Just because I’m not killin’ Japs or Krauts doesn’t mean I’m not working hard to protect the constitution and “our freedoms” (fuck I hate that phrase).

So how is the GOP retarded? For many reasons, but right now because they could end this whole debacle by rescinding the bill, placing it up for a vote after 24 hours, voting another ill advised yes, and BAM! it’s law, mutha fuckas! But no. They sit there twiddling their chubby thumbs while playing some sadistic game (seriously, to what end?) with the judicial branch, disobeying court orders (there are THREE branches of government, dipshits). It’s beyond bizarre. It makes me scratch my head and wonder if they are up to something else. Are they really skilled enough and intelligent enough to create an elaborate political sleight of hand during this unprecedented power grab? It IS a power grab, friends. That blubbering tub of unethical shit named Scat Fatzherald admitted it on Faux News.

Another example of the shining retardation of the GOP is bullying independent voters and centrists like William Cronon the UW Professor that actually could be swayed into their favor. Man the GOP is retarded. This is like bitch slapping your surgeon when you wake up in the middle of your cardiac bypass surgery. Fine by me. The sooner we get rid of this modern day conservatard movement, the better.

"My new campaign manager will pull my career from the brink. Meanwhile, I'm taking applications from the youngest and sweetest treats the conservative base has to offer. Form an orderly queue ladies. Oh, and I'm tired of older ladies like my current 25 year old woman. Over 20 need not apply."

The only course we have right now is to sigh and continue on with the recall fight. They’ve obtained the required signatures for Randy “the bed” Hopper. He’s going down, people. He’s trailing a GENERIC Democrat by some 10 percent. Literally, a no namer could beat this guy if the election was held today. He’s hired a campaign manager in light of his situation, one Jeff Harvey. He’s the conservative campaign manager extraordinaire who brought this country that waddling tub of fecal matter out in Nooo Joisey named Chris Christie. He also helped get Dave Reichert elected to district 8 of the state of Washington. If you don’t know who he is, don’t worry. He’s a no namer “moderate” (another word for spineless ineffectual) Repube. Side story: This Dave guy got hit in the head by a tree branch, causing a head bleed. Those nurses that cared for him? His party is trying to fuck them hard. Asshole. I wish the whole tree had fallen on him and his fellow thugs.

Back to the bed Hopper. You’re days are numbered, fuckstain. Jeffy can’t help you. He’s a no namer himself. Even the best engineer can’t patch the Hindenburg and expect it to fly straight. Now I don’t know what Hopper’s wife is like, but even if she is a megacunt, he should divorce her before sinking his mini commander in chief into some young lobbyist. It’s common courtesy and the decent thing to do, two concepts that the hard right (I bet Hopper’s naive girlfriend would confirm he’s hard, right?) fails time and time again to grasp. This jack ass campaigned on “family values”, can you believe it? I can. Seriously. Their hypocrisy truly knows no bounds.

The other Repube recalls are progressing fantastically as well. Last I heard they were at 70% of signatures needed, and door to door canvasing is not even in full swing. It’s hilarious that there is a push for a Democratic 8 recall, but the leaders of this soon to fail movement are… are you ready for this?… THE MOR(M)ONS from Utah!!! Yup. Religious dolts are yet again moving out of state to fuck up other decent, thoughtful people’s shit (remember California’s prop 8?). Man I hate mor(m)ons. Guess who’s leading the charge against the Republican 8? Decent, sane, hard working and thoughtful citizens of this state. Fellow Wisconsinites are fronting their money and time to take this state back. I’m one of them. We cannot allow the hard right agenda to survive for one more day in this state let alone this country. We must draw the line here. It’s time for these redneck, religious, corporate, anti-human dipshits to get off of OUR property. They can enjoy their freedom of ignorant thinking somewhere else, like maybe in the Mariana trench… but then again, why would we want to poison the oceans? That’s just stupid. They might not understand the circle of life on this planet, but we sure as shit do.