"Niggars bad. Niggars BAAAAAAD!!! White people GOOOOOOOD!!!"

Okay, everybody. Interesting development on the political battlefield. We’re in serious trouble. It turns out that teabaggers, you know those intellectual stubs that can barely spell their names let alone racial slurs, can use email! Holy shit! Retreat! We’re fucked! The most ignorant, subhuman creatures have discovered the internets!

How did I learn about this insane threat to homeland security? Because I sent an email to the asshole in the picture to the left last week and surprisingly, he responded to me three times, despite even my initial sarcastic, angry attacks. I’m sincerely impressed by this. Revealed below are the authentic exchanges between Dale Robertson, president of the “tea party” at teaparty.org, and myself. Despite the poor grammar (embarrassing use of your vs. you’re, than vs. then, to vs. too, etc.), terrible sentence structure, and scattered thoughts, Dale actually managed to sound ever so slightly more coherent than I initially suspected he would, but not by much. For those of you who think it’s petty to pick apart grammar and sentence structure, it isn’t. These things say A LOT about our intelligence.  After each of his responses, I will offer in italics and parentheses a quick commentary. Enjoy! I know I did!

My brilliant email #1:

Hey Dale!

Thanks for all the amazing work you’re doin’ trying to get America back to its strong, conservative roots. I have started a blog to celebrate your achievements. If you could take a moment to look at it and offer your opinion, I’d be humbled. Thanks again for keeping America strong!

https://starkrantingmad.wordpress.com/2010/10/21/tea-baggers-retards-on-the-rise/

Thanks,

Sturm

I also sent him this email moments later:

By the way, Dale. Is this you? Man you are photogenic.

http://washingtonindependent.com/73036/n-word-sign-dogs-would-be-tea-party-leader

Sturm

 

My infantile opponent Dale Robertson: a face only a "niggar hatin'" mother could love.

The retard’s reply #1:

Sturm,

Good luck with your delusions.  I doubt you will make any significant impact and your twisted message will fade in history.

Dale

(Notice no response to the question of his identity in the picture. Surprise. By the way, nice try at intelligent, pseudo-poetic writing, Dale. When I read this I thought: “Okay, this is seriously going to be like boxing with a fucking newborn.”)

My brilliant email #2:

Dale,

It is quite doubtful that my message will fade before yours. The inanity of your kind has isolated the U.S., perpetuating the world’s hatred for this country. You people stand on your soap boxes of hate and fear mongering, gathering more sheeple into your flock. Please. Lead them over a cliff with you in the lead. What I think is the most funny aspect of your cult of insane ignorance is the fact that you are essentially republicans with a different, more ignorant leader… that’s you Dale. Take your racist, liberal values hatin’, gun totin’, fat redneck ass back to Germany circa 1939. That’s Hitler’s time since I’m sure you failed basic world history, you fetid fucking shitstain in Glen Beck’s tightie whities. Good day to you sir.

Sturm

 

The retard’s reply #2:

Sturm,

Let’s compare the rhetoric.  First of all the Repulicans started this racial accusations to co-opt the Tea Party Movement.  Second, your rhetoric is violent and vulgar. I believe in peace and oppose special interest that have an agenda and benefit by perpetuating conflict.  While you may have a Liberal agenda, I don’t ram my point down your throat or any other part of the body.  My goal has always been based on personal freedom.  I don’t like people trying to tell me how to live.  Hence our cores values are based on these 3 principles: 1) Non-partisan; 2) Constitutional (fiscally) Conservative Government; 3) Free Enterprise.

If you really want a real story is then address the Republicans attempt to co-opt the Tea Party Movement.  The Dems could look like the hero defending me.  However, I’m not sure that your not a Republican trying to trick me.  I really don’t believe in political parties.  I rather we selected our candidates on personal merit and character.  If my community is liberal then we should have liberal leaders and only choose otherwise to combat corruption.

Have a great day,

Dale

 

A shining example of teabagger logic and intellectual domination.

(Shitty sentence structure is not surprising, but I love, love, love the hint of paranoia in his reply. He said, “I’m not sure that your (it’s YOU’RE, as in YOU ARE a moron, Dale) a Republican trying to trick me”. How frail your ideology is, Dale if you fear people trying to trick you. What do you mean “this racial accusations”? Do you mean THESE accusations of racism? You, sir, are a literary amateur. As for his appalling sentence structure, it is very hard to follow at times, but remember his sign? I’m not really surprised. Seriously, Dale. Can you not take 2 seconds to give it a proofread? Oh, and fyi Dale, when you use the word “niggar” in your movement and public presentations, you 1) do NOT “believe in peace” and you 2) certainly DO perpetuate conflict AND 3) it is considered ramming it down our throats. It’s called shock campaigning, asshole. Three strikes, bitch. Sturm just pitched a no-hitter ladies and gentlemen!)

My brilliant email #3:

Dale,

You see, the difference between MY rhetoric (be it vulgar or not) and yours is that mine doesn’t purport hatred and intolerance of race, sexuality, and any other human traits that are attributed to genetics. My desecration of religion and political thought do NOT attack those that were born into some class or trait, only those who ignorantly choose their behaviors. Religion is a choice. Political views are a choice. When people choose destructive principles and philosophies upon which to base their lives, they should be attacked and ostracized and demoralized and ultimately wedged out of American and even world politics.

I assure you, Dale, that I am neither a Rethuglican nor a Dimocrat. Both parties are fundamentally broken (and failing beyond belief). The Republicans are a bunch of fear mongering, racist degenerates, and the Dems are a bunch of spineless, whiny shitheels. Your claims of being a rising legitimate party that will dominate these two destructive punchlines and bring sanity back to Washington are ludicrous.

I will agree with you about the Republicans trying to get involved in your movement. They are riding on your “party” and depending upon you to get them into these public offices of which they succeeded grandly. But co-opting the tea bagger

Another poor defenseless, put upon teabagger.

movement outright? Please. I believe the teabaggers vote for republicans and SUPPORT them unconditionally because there are no other candidates out there for them to stand behind. You see, you are supporting these officials because you have no other viable candidates. Sarah Palin the mama bear? Please. She’s a joke. She’s a clueless, bumbling child who walked in on her parents fucking. It is a fact that every last one of the tea baggers buy into the fear-mongering racism that the Rethuglicans (and Sarah Palins, and Glenn Becks, and Rush Limbaughs, etc.) have promoted for years. But with the recent tea bagger rise, it has become even worse. It is more dangerous and devastating because of the sheer numbers.

Take a peek at this one tiny example:

http://www.blueridgemuse.com/node/3539

Tell me. Is that you holding the sign that has a mis-spelling of the word nigger? You never answered me. Please. And you have the audacity to accuse ME of utilizing vulgar rhetoric? I’d laugh at you if your ignorance wasn’t so dangerous. Don’t continue to give me your bullshit sob story about Rethuglicans co-opting your movement and making you look like racists when you do shit like this. They didn’t make you carry such an ignorant sign. What the fuck does that sign mean anyway? Congress=slave owner taxpayer=niggar? Seriously, if this is the new face of politics in America, then we as a country are quite simply fucked. China will roll over us without resistance on every economic, educational, and, believe it or not, environmental front.

You, Dale, are a racist and a bigot and clearly have no place in the rational political discourse that will hopefully raise the United States out of the ashes of the countless cross burnings gone awry since its inception. My vulgar rhetoric never, NEVER fucking attacks an individual based on race or sex or sexuality, only those who CHOOSE to behave, think, and act in despicable ways, like rednecks, and racists, and homophobes… like members of your “party”.

I want to take a quick final moment to dispute the blazing contradictions in the funda-MENTAL principles of your “party”. You claim to be 1) “non-partisan”, but you are a conservative. You despise liberal philosophies. Bi-partisanship is NOT limited to Republicans versus Democrats, it can be merely conservative versus liberal. Those are two very different ideals. It is bi-partisanship at its core. Instead of Republican versus Democrat, its teabagger versus tree hugger. Bottom line, its the battling of two ideals, thus bi-bloomin’-partisanship.

You claim you are for a 2) “fiscally conservative” government and yet in the same set of principles you demand a stronger military? You want decreased taxes yet a larger military? How, how, how can you rationalize this blazing contradiction? It is ignorant and irresponsible.

You lastly speak of 3) free enterprise guiding your “party” principles. Capitalism is a useful tool, but it has its limits and PROFOUND weaknesses. Citibank, Goldman Sachs, AIG are ALL results of free enterprise and ALL major players in the current economic state of affairs (bailout, hint, hint). Free enterprise should NOT be a guiding philosophy for a “political party”. That’s where special interest groups are born from. Every fucking lobbyist is the anal by product of free fucking enterprise. Don’t believe me? Go back to Economics 101.

"I won again? Are you sure? Man the American people are actually dumber than me!"

Did you vote for Bush Jr.? I’m guessing you, like a majority of the retards in this country did… TWICE. He supported intrusive government which you claim to oppose. He supported only the rich whilst shitting upon the middle class (and poor), a class you claim to support. He had no “friends”, only special interest reps surrounding him, a type of person you claim to despise. All I ask is that you go back to performing a complete overhaul of your “party” and try to come up with something that doesn’t sound like a 3rd grade social studies project. Oh, and in the meantime, stop spreading seeds of hate and intolerance and get on board trying to help humanity instead of being a special interest group of one.

Best,

Sturm

The retard’s reply #3:

Sturm,

I’m impressed with your reasoning.  I consider myself to be an Independent and political leaning is more aligned with being a moderate.  There is a big difference with naked capitalism and free-enterprise.  Raw capitalism is nothing more then survival of the fittest.  Free-enterprise requires competition.  The examples that you provided of businesses is indicative of monopolies that exploit the masses to prevent competition.  We can look at US Steel, ATT, Microsoft, Financial Instutions, Pharmaceuticals, etc. as examples and connect the dots of election outcomes, special interest, and policies.  Our system of government has been corrupted and this movement is about restoring our nation.

I notice that in all your criticism is directed as Republicans.  I can find little discrepancy in many of your statements regarding the corruption in the Republican Party.  While the Republicans are corrupted so are the Democrats.  These parties embrace polarizing points to create a frenzy and this wasted rhetoric props up the deceivers.  People are transfixed as a bug that is attracted to the light.  The result is more desireable and viable candidates are ignored and cronism prevails.  I have study this problem about 20 years and had enough.

I would be curious to know what is your leanings and what alternative do you propose.

Sincerely,

Dale

 

Dale Robertson's first attempt at public speaking. An internet phenom.

(Again there was no answer to my question of his identity in that picture, which means it is a resounding “Yes, that’s me! I’m the racist, illiterate shitwit!” It’s not: “There is a big difference with…” Dale, it’s: “There is a big difference BETWEEN.” Moron. And check out this doozy sentence structure: “I have study this problem about 20 years and had enough.” All your base are belong to us. Idiot. He obviously didn’t study shit, least of all basic English including, but not limited to verb tenses. Did you mean “I have studIED this problem FOR about 20 years and HAVE had enough? That was real tough. Idiot. The grammar failures just keep rolling on and on my friends. That’s teabaggers for you!

My brilliant email #4:

Dale,

I want to take a moment to thank you for taking the time to respond to my emails. I did not expect any any sort of response, so for that I am genuinely grateful.

My criticisms are mainly directed at Reps because most (not all) of the irresponsible acts during my voting years have been initiated by them. Most CEOs are republicans. Most (not all) sex scandals involve Republicans. Both invasions of Iraq were republican projects. Trust me, I have NO love for the Dems, and they are far from corruption free, but they offer far more hope than the Republican ideology. Senator Russ Feingold of Wisconsin was technically a democrat, but he voted independently. He voted AGAINST his party more than any other politician. His voting matched the dems approximately 78% of the time. The next lowest was nearly 97%. He, of all politicians, supported those ideals of minimal government that you speak of. He voted to censure Bush and voted to hold him accountable for illegal wiretapping. NOBODY else had his back, not even that worthless shithead Sentaor Herb Kohl (D). Then in November of 2010, he lost to that heinous sub-human Ron Johnson. A rich businessman who supports big business and bigger rewards for his kind. How did he lose? The teabag electorate. Plain and simple. This new movement destroyed the one hope this country had of being something of substance, something Feingold was renowned for. In the end, my bipartisanship is less Rep vs. Dem and really more about conservative versus liberal ideology.

"I'm bloomin' CEO. Who the bloody ell do you little people think you are? Fuck the pelicans! I deserve my bonus you insignificant little wankers!"

I’m certain we agree on the bail outs being ridiculous. It supported and now condones further bad behavior because no substantial changes were made. Our banks are still centralized, offering the chance for further destabilization. I want blood from those companies that got bailed out and then distributed enormous bonuses and lavish parties. It’s criminal and unethical. But the new wave of red that arrived in congress (elected by your followers) will NOT bring justice. They will delay its arrival. It is the Republican code to condone and reward big business. I am also certain that asstards like Nancy Pelosi, and maybe Herb Kohl, and numerous other Dems are somehow capitalizing on the support of big business. They are corrupt for supporting the bailout. The remaining Dems are cowardly. They allowed themselves to be bullied into a yes vote. Although something needed to be done, there should have been so much more debate. All of these politicians, Reps and Dems alike, are part of the problem.

As for the free-enterprise debate, I believe ALL businesses, be it Citibank or the local hardware store, desire a lack of competition. It’s what drives them to succeed, to be the main provider of goods and services. If my local hardware store was to become the only store in town providing all goods and services, that owner would without a doubt rejoice. It wouldn’t happen because it is too small to expand rapidly and cover all needs, but it is the Citibank philosophy at its core. Take out the competition (laws and ethics be damned). Become the biggest, the best, the richest. That’s capitalism. That’s the free market. This survival of the fittest versus competition that you speak of has become a very gray area. The line has been blurred, especially in this current economic environment and with the meddling of corporate America on capitol hill that culminated in the bailout.

I too am an “independent” but with a leaning towards the liberal side. I used to be a “moderate”, but have come to realize that being a moderate has very little chance of bringing about any real change and even less of pushing this country in the direction it needs to go. Obama is far more moderate than I initially hoped (but not suspected). I don’t regret voting for him as the McCain/Palin team would have been insanely inadequate and dangerous. I feel that the Dems of today are perhaps like the Reps of decades ago. Moderation aside, there is a shifting in their thinking to the right, like a glacier, slow but destructive as hell. My main problem with the moderate spectrum is that it doesn’t push us to be great. This country, above ANY other country in the world, has the power (workforce, influence, finances if we cut military spending/operations) to exact amazing and necessary change in this world. If we voted and decided today to solve this

"My fellow Americans. Did you know it wasn't until 1978 that my Mor(m)on God decided blacks were human and worthy of acceptance? It's true. Elect me in 2012 and he might do the same for the Chinese."

energy crisis, it could be done in a very short time. We are the ONLY country on the planet with the capacity to do this. Why aren’t we doing it then? Obama had a perfect chance with the gulf oil spill to come down upon BP and other oil tycoons with thunderous rage. He could have set up a task force to review what happened and use that knowledge to create a wave of support to begin the process of alternate and renewable energy. But he didn’t. He failed. Why didn’t he make a move? I believe it is because he’s a moderate. I think he believes change needs to happen slowly, that it should not be forced upon the masses (even his health care plan is baby steps and resembles in many ways what Dole (R) offered years ago and also Romney (R) offered as governor of Massachusetts). But in the end, when slow and steady is the plan, that change will not arrive, at least not when it is needed. Can you imagine how devastating it would be to the frail American workforce, frailer American world image, and even frailer American psyche if  say China beats us to the punch in pushing the issue of renewable energy? I personally would be happy in that at least someone did it, but I want it to be us. It could be us. It should be us.

The U.S. is on an imminent and quite possibly devastating down turn. We are an Empire in the modern age. Rome, Spain, England all were empires in the days of minimal communication and technology. They all failed. We too will fail with much more flailing speed because of the modern era. The top issue driving us into debt and ultimate failure are our military ambitions and our goals of empire. Why are we doing this? Because of some imaginary threat from terrorists? Look at England and Spain and Russia. They’ve all had horrible attacks but they carry on without invading other countries. The WTC attack was horrendous (but not unexpected). We lost a lot of innocent lives, but who are we to behave like entitled and bratty children? Are we doing it to maintain some semblance of control of oil sources? If so, then we clearly failed at that. Is it our unfaltering support of the jewish state of Israel? Whatever the reasons (it’s all of these and more), they disgust me. They shame me. They are unethical and inexcusable. We are better than this. We have the capability to be the leaders of a thoughtful and compassionate new era where we realize it is not only the US, but thousands of other nations in desperate need of this saving of humanity. We are in this together. Every decision that every human being makes affects every other, even the isolated tribes in the Amazon. So why do our decisions have to be so blindingly irresponsible and reprehensible? Why are we as a nation so short-sighted and selfish? I simply do not understand why we adopt this unwavering code of egocentricity. If there is to be hope, these things must stop… today.

If these are your ideals and your desires, Dale, then I embrace you as a brother in arms in this battle. The more people we have pushing our righteous (they MUST be righteous) agendas, the more chance we have of success. yet the things I read, the protests I watch, the arguments I listen to from the teabaggers tell me otherwise. They indicate that they are merely a negative symptom of anger and distrust resulting in the raising of their guns to fire wildly and erratically at anything that moves (a.k.a. Russ Feingold, social responsibility, compassionate ideology, etc.).

A sampling of Dale's supposed non-racist, intelligent and moderate followers.

I think you have a tremendous opportunity with Teaparty.org to exact healthy change because of the number of people you preach to, but when I read it, especially the core values (as I adressed in an earlier entry), it speaks of dangerous ignorance and wild contradictions. You do not strike me as a man devoid of any hope for evolving intelligence (but you are incredibly fucking close) and one completely incapable of open-mindedness (unless you truly believe that sign you (?) held), but the vast majority of those that follow your cause are. They are malleable and incapable of open mindedness. They are incapable of looking beyond their tiny bubbles and what suits their momentary and monetary needs. They are ignorant, shortsighted sheep. Yet what they ARE capable of is devastating change through their votes and their beliefs and their concurrent agendas. These are the people that follow you. These are the people that listen to you. These are the people that call themselves the teabaggers. These are the people that swell your numbers until they can no longer be ignored. They are not moderates, they are conservatards on the prowl for blood.

Dale, I would only ask, nay plead, that you reach across the void and attract far less ignorant followers beneath your banner, a redesigned banner that doesn’t display shallow goals, but ones that can be embraced by all humanity, that help ALL, be they black, white, Asian, homosexual, Hispanic, etc., etc. Then and only then can America be this great country that you and certainly I desire.

Thanks for listening.

Sturm

 

Racist baby Dale "the redneck, rootin' tootin', "niggar" hatin', tea bag president" Robertson concedes defeat.

The retard’s reply #4:

Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. He has blocked my email address which says three important things about my unworthy, newborn opponent who can barely hold up his fat, bobbling head:

1. I am right.

2. Dale “the redneck, rootin’ tootin’, “niggar” hatin, teabag president” Robertson and his followers are wrong. Devastatingly wrong.

3. I am vastly smarter (and have more literary fucking finesse) than Dale “TRRTNHTBP” Robertson or any tea bagger.

Now I know Dale is reading this entry. He is. That’s as guaranteed as the fact that he and his followers are retarded. So to you, Dale, I salute you and I say “fuck you” sir. I tried to be rational in my final two emails. I called off the “vulgar and violent” dogs of my sardonic and brilliant wit for just enough time to give you a fighting chance, but because you shut down further discussion, you have proven my point. You are a racist, Dale. You are a bigot. You are an idiot. You are a special interest group of one. You are the leader of those that cannot, should not, and must not be considered human, of those that must be written out of our society and out of any future political discourse. You are a spreader of plague. A vile, brain-rotting plague that threatens humanity more than every virus and bacteria combined, including that white shit that’s growing underneath your massive man tits, Dale. The longer you are allowed to function within this society, the less hope we have.

All of my readers. Please. I beg of you to contact Dale at president@teaparty.org. Fill his inbox. Attack him with even a short message of your distrust and distaste for him and his vile, racist agenda. You can even send him links to this blog entry and nothing else if you wish. It will only take a second of your time, and it will annoy the shit out of him, waste his time, and perhaps, just perhaps, shift his thinking.

Yeah right. It won’t shift his thinking. You have to be able to actually think first before you can do that.

Peace,

Sturm

P.S. Checkmate, Dale. (That means you lose, you inane, bumbling redneck, fuck up, pile of sub-human excrement. How’s that for vulgar and violent rhetoric, bitch?)

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