"Derpa derp! My butt hurts. Must be the second coming of Christ all up inside of me. Sinners... I mean gay buddies! What do I do? Waahooo! What... do... I... do?!"

Rick Santorum. Rick “the prick” San-fucking-torum. President Ricky Santorum. Has a real scary ring to it, doesn’t it? Man this guy is so much much fun to hate. I’ll be honest, all homophobes are fun (and easy) to hate, but there’s something about this particular shit stain on the underwear that is humanity that puts him above all the others. I wonder what his gay friends would say about my hatred of him and the monstrosity that is his venom filled mind. That’s right. Didn’t you hear? Rick the prick has gay friends. He says that he loves them and that they love him.  Well gawrsh. Isn’t that sweet? Doncha feel all warm ‘n fuzzy? How did he word it exactly… he said something about their accepting him despite their belief differences, a.k.a. his vilification of the gay community. Oh I don’t remember exactly. Blah, blah, blah. Trying to recite crazy is like trying to memorize pi to the seven hundred and fifty thousandth digit after one viewing. It’s impossible, unless you’re Rainman. So here it is in his own words. (Note the interviewer commenting on how it sounds like saying “I have black friends.” Priceless.)

Yeah, right. Ricky has gay friends like I have teabagger friends. I wouldn’t be caught dead being friends with a teatard, but, unlike that homophobic, sociopath who has a fantastically interesting body fluid named after him thanks to the great Dan Savage, at least I have the courage and decency to admit my repugnance outright. Fucking teatards. Fuck ’em. Fuck religious right wingers too. And all the Santorums of the world. Humanity really needs to place a restraining order on every one of these sycophants.

So Ricky… back to those gay “friends” of yours… what do they think about your equating them with sheep fuckers and pederasts? Anyone with a brain and a conscience remembers that you said it:

“In every society, the definition of marriage has not ever to my knowledge included homosexuality. That’s not to pick on homosexuality. It’s not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be….If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything.” [4/2003]

Hmm… that certainly is thought provoking, Ricky. “Not to pick on homosexuality?” That’s all you’re doing, fuckstick. Homophobic? Check. Here are a couple more seeds of wisdom from public enema number one:

“Marriage is an institution that’s a bridge too far for too many African-American women and is not desirable among African-American males.” [6/2/2009]

Racist? Check. What about this one:

“In far too many families with young children, both parents are working, when, if they really took an honest look at the budget, they might find they don’t both need to….The radical feminists succeeded in undermining the traditional family and convincing women that professional accomplishments are the key to happiness“. [‘It Takes A Family,’ 7/6/2005]

Misogynistic? Check.

Okay, if you insist… uno mas:

“I think the Democrats are actually worried [Obama] may go to Indonesia and bow to more Muslims.” [3/23/2010]

Fucking teatarded? Say it ain’t so, Joe. Oh, you betcha!

How about one more… No. That’s it. That’s seriously all I can take. You’re cut off Santorum. We haven’t heard the last of your inane and insane blabbering and foaming at the mouth, I know, but for now I’m shutting it down.

But there is a breath of hope. Despite all the homophobic, civil rights bashing right wingers, there has been a victory. Homosexuals now have the right to marry in New York (until Prop 8 Episode II?). This is a great day and a tremendous step forward in civil rights for our fellow humans. I smiled as I read it, until of course I got about halfway through and the right wingers were allowed to put their banal and predictable spin on it. Why are stupid people allowed a chance to speak their mind? Let them stand on a street corner where we can walk away from their floppy puppet-headed jabbering.

Let’s start with the pedophile supporter (I can only assume) Reverend Monsignor Kieran Harrington who said:

Does this look like the face of a threat to society? In his short life, Tyler did more than any of those who so freely and joyously persecuted him.

“What we find repugnant is that this is being described as a civil rights issue. African-Americans weren’t allowed to use the same fountains as white people. There were lynchings. The civil rights legislation was a reaction to this very real level of discrimination. If you say it’s a civil rights issue, then the state uses the coercive means at its disposal.”

Wow. He’s right. I never thought about it that way. No gays have ever been tortured or “lynched”, certainly not Matthew Shepard or David Kato or Lawrence King or Tyler Clementi or Diane Whipple. Yeah. Certainly these poor people never experience a “very real level of discrimination.” Hey Monsignor Asshole! Just because they weren’t forced to drink from another fountain, doesn’t mean the hatred and fear and judgement they felt for a HARMLESS GENETIC DISPOSITION, is any less real or substantive. Christ there’s just no getting through to them, is there?

Listen people. The right wing nuts like this monsignor (hard right freaks and teatards included) want to dehumanize the homosexual members of society. They are trying to make them looked upon as sub-human or moral degenerates or willing participants in the devil’s plan. This IS a civil rights issue whether they believe it or not. Funny how they can believe in a Hello Kitty backpack wearing toddler god, but they can’t believe this simple fact. Even the UN has finally stepped up and recognized this. Human rights are civil rights. If you don’t agree, you are nothing but a road block to the “pursuit of happiness” of another human being and you are an abomination of conscience. You have no business being on this planet.

"Amerika will not have peace until the homosexual question has been disposed of. The world has sufficient capacity for settlement, but we must finally break away from the notion that a certain percentage of the homosexual people are intended, by our dear God, to be the parasitic beneficiary of the body, and of the productive work, of other peoples. Auf weidersehen!"

Of course Brian Brown, head of the National Organization for Marriage had something to say on this issue. No surprise there. That organization sounds like a whole lot of nothing that probably sucks up a shit ton of tax dollars… kind of like the CNP (Council for National Policy) which I mentioned in my Hey Hosers! entry. This dipshit said: “We have a redefinition of marriage in which those of us who disagree are treated as bigots.” Guess what moron, you ARE a fucking bigot. This fucking waste of oxygen also said: “The Church is going to be punished for its belief that marriage is between a man and a woman.” Hmmm. Unchecked devotion to the church, the most vile and oppressive criminal organization on the planet. Yup. You AND the church should be punished… mercilessly.

Let’s get something straight, Brian. You are a bigot because you persecute another individual for who they are, for their genetic code. What are you going to do, persecute me because I’m genetically predisposed to melanoma because of my army of moles? It would be NO different than what you are doing right now. How do the chosen lifestyles of these men and women affect you? Of course the religious right will claim my persecuting them is just as bad, but again, no it isn’t. I say to them: I’m persecuting you for a CHOICE. Just because you have a right to choose your beliefs, doesn’t mean I don’t have the right to persecute you for your ignorance and your blood libel against other human beings. Get over yourselves. Religious dolts probably believe this is all a matter of protecting their uncivil rights.

So Rick “discharge” Santorum is running for president. Sorry to inform you, but this crazy religious right winger isn’t alone. Chances are if a Repube wins in 2012 (and I think there’s a good chance), it’ll be one of these crazies: Santorum, Romney, Bachmann, Pawlenty, Palin, Huntsman, or yet another dipshit governor from Texas. Yikes! I just felt a shudder tear my soul asunder. Don’t worry. In preparation for 2012, I plan on devoting an entire entry to each one of these crazies, but for now all we can do is fear. Fear for our lives. Fear for our fellow humans. Fear for this planet. But more important than fear, the one thing we also can and should and must do is fight. Fight the inanity of the right wing. Fight their suppression of human rights. Fight the devastation of their limited thinking and a belief in a “mighty” misogynist in the sky. Fight their infantile beliefs that the earth is six thousand short years old. Fight their destructive literature written at a time when humans were dumber (maybe) and more openly violent (debatable) than their current mentally stagnant descendants.

The religious right are a scourge. They are parasites. They are the most dangerous detour away from the advancement of human civilization in the history of human civilization. They are incapable of compassion. They are brazen ineffectuals “empowered” by prayer. (Must I repeat my stance on prayer?) They are zealous bigots allowed to purport hatred and violence on the public stage because they are protected by free speech, but what they are too dim to realize is that just because you have the right to say something or think something, doesn’t mean you ARE right. You aren’t. You’re wrong… dead wrong and you’re attempting to take us all down with you because of some imaginary quest for glory and jewels for your silly crowns. If Jesus was a real man, how much do you want to bet he would weep at your despicable existences. He would be appalled. I bet he loved his fellow humans, gay or otherwise. Hell, chances are he himself was gay. Kind of makes me wonder about that ancient, organic version of santorum made from delicious olive oil. MUFAs for his poofs, ya!



P.S. religious dipshits; Jesus H. Christ's skin tone matched one of these shades, and no, not the near caucasian shit you see in this spectrum.