"I like 'em young, drunk, 'n fulla spunk! After momma finishes her menthols, let's get to work on that hat trick boys!"

Seriously, what the fuck is going on in the OC? First Sloane “the child beater” Briles throws his kid overboard and now this Kathia Maria Davis is letting prepubescent teens pound away on her dried and shrivelled snatch? Fucking gross. Seriously, have you read about Davis, the woman who apparently fucked her son’s hockey mates when they were under 16? Hold on a minute, does that mean it is OKAY to fuck a child that is sixteen years of age in the state of California? Ish, that’s fucking nasty. Even if it was a 16 year old girl and myself alone on the planet, left to repopulate it, I’d have to wait a couple years before getting to work. They’re fucking babies at 16, even 18 to be honest.

I’d seriously like to sit and chat with these boys and ask them how on earth they could even get it up for this haggard looking west coast sea witch mother fucker. In a way, that’s kind of impressive. That’s some serious determination. God damn she’s gross. Even at my horniest I’d rather fuck dried road kill. I bet you I’d have an easier time maintaining an erection whilst giving my penis a thousand tiny paper cuts. I’m guessing if my penis got anywhere near her crotch it’d be like trying to touch two positive ends of a magnet together, like trying to shove an over cooked spaghetti noodle into a crispity crunchity hole. Not happening. No way, no how.

Anyway, so it appears the SOCO is pretty fucked up. I almost moved there with an ex of mine and am glad as shit I didn’t for many reasons besides this. It might be a good place to people watch for a long weekend, but to bank on anything else is foolish. But maybe I’m being too hasty. Maybe, just maybe she didn’t do it just like Sloane “the wife beater” Briles didn’t throw his kid overboard against the boy’s will. It looks like these two shit bags are perfect for each other. I think they should go on one of those OC booze cruises together. I would totally pay for that. Maybe they could have a fight, throw each other over board and get chopped up by the propeller. Hey Kathia! Hey Sloane! Email me! I’m buyin’!

Peace,

Sturm

"Sigh. I wish I played hockey."

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