Blahnie and Snide. A picture of Georgian perfection. Teabaggers? Probably. Proof of the need to drastically increase abortion rates? Definitely.

As I’m sure you’ve all noticed, my entries have become laced with more and more optimism as of late. Thankfully there comes a story, hailing all the way from our Klan friends in Houston county, Georgia, to break that dangerous trend.

Are times really that tough down in the land ‘o lynchings, in the state ‘o southern hospitality (except to them colored and/or gay folk)? I mean I understand the hopelessness of living in a giant steaming pile of shit, I really do. But stealing from 13 year old girls at a lemonade stand? Really? Only below the Mason Dixon line could this happen. I wonder how much meth Gage bought with his newly acquired $3.14? By his pic, I can only assume he is a shining southern example of generations of inbreeding. And what does it say about Amber Umbarger dating a single celled abomination like him? She’s not a bad looking girl. If she worked at it she could certainly get tapped by a Wal-Mart stock boy who actually works for his money. But I don’t want to be so judgmental. I suppose I really should be more sensitive to her situation. Maybe, just MAYBE, she was stealing the money to abort Gage’s baby to prevent further contamination of the human gene pool. Good work, Amber! You’re humanity’s new hero! Don’t worry, I’ll donate some money to help cover the cost. “I’m your huckleberry.”

Peace,

Sturm

"My name's Dale, and I approve of this crime... 'specially if the victims were niggars!"

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