June 5th Wisconsin Recall: Walker wins, Wisconsin loses. Game, set, match.

“Hiiiiii!!! Derrrrrrrrp!”

Silence may be golden and it may be a fence around wisdom. It may even be one of the great arts of conversation, but let’s get something straight right out of the gate. My silence as of late must not be mistaken for either complacency or fucking acceptance. It is neither. Laziness? Perhaps the teeny tiniest bit. Or maybe it’s more like wicked apathy. You see, when you’re surrounded by a deluge of the dim powered by the army of the retard right here in Wisconsin, resistance seems rather hopeless and more so it seems so fucking futile.

“I’ll do what? I like birdies and fishies and dolphins. I won’t kill them. You lie! Mommy says I’m sensitive and special and can do anything I want! I love aminals!”

As anyone with a brain (this of course excludes teabaggers) knows June 5th approaches fast, and with it ventures forth the inevitability of defeat. The defeat to which I refer isn’t of the Democrats. No, that’s perhaps a tiny part of it as along with Progressives, they truly are the only political body that offers even a twinge of hope for the advancement of civilization, but truth be told, they welcomed the fast approaching crushing, blistering defeat. They asked for it. In fact, I’m not entirely convinced that they didn’t plan on it. Trust me, I saw Jon Erpenbach’s face during my days blasting the capitol with my bullhorn. He wasn’t annoyed. He was afraid… of me. Well, maybe not me exactly, but that which I represent. Distaste, anger, and disgust at this marching corporate agenda of which he clearly is an important part. Behind closed doors, who knows what kind of bedfellow he is with the Fitzies. No, I’m not worried about their defeat. My Hyde welcomes it. They’re clearly an integral part of the problem what with their consistently spineless and cowardly approach to politics. I mean have you heard of this Obama character? Get this. He let the oil companies drain acrid piss into our delicate ecosystems and continues to encourage it to this day… free of charge. Have at it boys!

No. The defeat to which I refer is the defeat of reason of logic of sanity of hope. Hey. Just because one high ranking, ineffectual asshole sullied that word, doesn’t mean I can’t still use it. And don’t give me that hero to the homosexual community bullshit. He doesn’t give a rancid democratic shit about the gays. It’s bullshit posturing. It’s a grand and righteous posture to be sure, but the jury’s going to be deliberating a long fucking time before the final verdict on Obama’s stance is read. And the rights… the fucking RIGHTS… of our gay neighbors will neither be realized in his second lame duck term nor for a painfully long time thereafter. You heard it here.

Wisconsin is a red state folks. Walker has succeeded in his pledge to Beloit billionaire sycophant Diane Hendricks (who paid NO income tax 2005-2008) in a “divide and conquer” strategy to end all strategies. Sidenote: What in the name of Christ’s holy shit is a billionaire doing living in a town named after the sound of  tiny turds hitting toilet water? Whatever…

“Once this state succumbs to the power of red, I’ll buy it all up for the bargain price of $14.95… give or take fourteen ninety. Strip women’s rights! Arm the dim! Repeal environmental protections! Nature’s laws don’t apply to me. I am Hurricane Hendricks! I… am… FURRY! I mean fury. Yeah, FURY!!!.”

Our redness emerged in November of 2010. It inflamed like an angry pulsating hemorrhoid in April 2011 with the reelection of  Sir Ignatius Imp of Appleton, one Davie Prosser. It swelled to an itchy burn in the summer of 2011 with the failed senate switch (and remember, that terrible creature Randy “the bed” Hopper barely lost and celebrated with a DUI). And it will explode with sticky, congealed blood all over Wisconsin’s masses upon the failed attempt at Walker’s recall in less than three weeks. Checkmate, assholes. They win.

Show them what they’ll win, Scotty!

“Well Wisconsin conservatives, how about your very own castle… doctrine. That’s right! With that new concealed carry weapon, I bet you single issue voting, neighborhood watch Christian soldiers are just aching to shoot yourself a threatening negro with Skittles, or better yet a bleeding heart liberal! All you gotta do is drop a trail of quarters leading right into your house and BLAM! Flawless victory. But that’s not all! How about four more terms of de-funded education and pay to play politics? Think your kids are getting too smart? Well worry not. Because under Scotty I and II’s reign, a strong education system will be a libturd dream of the past. Still think that’s it? Wrong! With the re-election of me, Supreme Chancellor Walker, you’ll also receive a stronger corporate representation in government. They’re people too, my friends! Ah doi!”

That certainly is a lot, but surely that can’t be it, can it, Scotty?

“Kill it! Shoot that sum bitch in the face! Recall this you God damned pecker faced mother fucker! God bless Walker!”

“Of course not, Sturm. Need something to add value to those rapidly deflating homes of yours, Wisconsin? Under conservative rule you’ll be allowed to kill any creature you desire and add it to your brand new… Trophy room! Tired of pigeons? BOOM! Stuff it! Hate those ugly cranes? BLAM! Mount it! Tired of wolves being all… wolfy? KA-BLOOEY! Pose it ferociously even though you trapped it and poisoned it! None of your friends will know you’re a coward. Creatures of all sizes will be at your mercy. Masturbate furiously at your magnificence! God is great! God is good! Oh, my God! So… fucking… good… Speaking of God, you’ll also win a chance to teach the next generation that everything we see is six thousand years old! As if that isn’t enough, you’ll also…”

Actually, Scotty. It’s quite enough.

So there you have it, folks. Those are the prizes. Republicans desire nothing more than to strip your civil rights. They desire nothing more than to defund education. They desire nothing more than to shit on a woman’s ability to manage her own health care. They desire nothing more than to find the next country to invade. They desire nothing more than to sow the ignorance of religion deeper into the bylaws of American politics. All in the name of fiscal conservatism.

So how did they do this? How did they win? Well, by pandering to the ignorant and the racist and the misogynistic (90% of Republie/cons fit this bill). It doesn’t take much to distract the dim. Lies to conservatives are like candy to a toddler. They are irresistible. Every single person that votes Republie/con believes that these assholes are “fiscal conservatives”, which of course is despite the fact that EVERY Republie/con since Nixon has engaged in endless war. Every single morand that votes Republie/con also believes the steaming shit heap that sputters on about how they are fighting for smaller government despite monitoring and regulating the living fucking shit out of every aspect of our lives. These of course are the same idiots that worship Ronnie Reagan. Their hero expanded the government, but would they take note of this? Of course not. That might require them to read. “What should I read ‘fer,” they’d shriek.

Oh, speaking of voting like a fucking asshole. Whoever, and by that I mean every single shit stain on the underwear that is humanity that votes for Scott Walker on June 5th is a Republie/con. This cannot be disputed. I’ve heard some idiots say it’s because they “don’t believe in the recalls.” “It’s my own protest vote.” Bullshit. That’s a smokescreen folks. They’re just too ashamed to admit that they’re either racist, bigoted, misogynistic, ignorant, rich, or all of the above. In other words, admitting that they’re Republie/con and they “stand with Walker.” My idiot fucking step father is one of these abominations. Oh well, that’s one less waste of space that I have to interact with. So whatever you do, don’t buy into the bullshit of assholes like him. Cut them out of your lives. Excise the tumors before they metastasize.

So in short, I’m throwing down. I’m calling the elections that truly matter before they happen. Scotty Walker will… WIN! Scotty Fitzgerald will… WIN! Wisconsin will… lose. Big time. But hey, we asked for it. When the wicked, the insane, the inane, the despicable and the straight up retarded join forces, there is little hope for a brighter future. I’m not going to tell you to vote. I’m not going to tell you not to vote. I’m not even going to tell you to hold out hope. I really don’t give a rancid shit what you do anymore, Wisconsin. Do whatever the fuck you need to do to get through this dark era we have entered. Me? I’m just going to bide my remaining time in this shit hole of a state and raise a glass to better times… somewhere else.

Peace,

Sturm

“Awww, c’mon, Pee Paw. It’s just not fair. I can’t ask for another favor yet. No, please don’t take my sleek black SUV back.  It makes the redneck MILFs in my district wet. Shucks, fine I’ll talk to him about it. Tell mee maw to call me later. I’m super scared and lonely right now.”

Rick Santorum. Politician, father, evangelical, and turns out racist. Shocking, right?

Well it was only a matter of time, folks. With this many misogynistic, racist, religious bigots, it was destined to happen that the fundamental values of the Republican party would come bubbling to the surface. Undoubtedly ALL four of these goons running for president think the same way, but only fecal/lube discharge had the courage to speak his mind. He just couldn’t help revealing his true feelings that Barack Obama is an “anti-war, government nig… uhh”. I applaud you, you brave and intrepid conservative soul! Certainly you’ve heard it, but just in case you haven’t, here it is in his own words:

 

 

Now I’ve already noticed the internets are lit up with frothy discharge apologists. “No man! Shit no, that’s not what he was going to say. You don’t know!” Really? Well what other word in the English language starts with the letters n-i-g? Well there’s Niger and Nigeria. Ya, we got those. But they’re pronounced n-eye. Now the only other ones I can think of are nigga, nigger, and a quick search on the internets, something this asshole should be well aware of and afraid of, reveals niglet. Shit, I’m racking my brain for other ones, especially ones readily used in conversation. No, make no mistake, this asshole meant nigger. I mean look at how he stumbles and fumbles after saying it. His voice screamed, “Oh shit, did I do that!?” He was scared and hopefully mortified, but I can’t imagine a creationist asshole like him feeling remorse or regret for such blatant disrespect. I mean it horrifies me to even use this word in this blog entry to attack his blatant racism and disrespect for another human being.

Can we dissect this quote just a bit more? Did you hear him call Barack Obama “anti-war”? As if being against war is a bad thing? Jesus Hermanos Fucking Christ this guy is jihad dangerous. Onward christian dipshits! Let’s string all the dissenters high be they muslim, black, or even slightly sinful.

But you know what? In the end, this mega-gaffe doesn’t matter. Nope, not one bit. You see, the Republicans are a bunch of racists and even if Santorum wins the nomination (which he won’t), he’ll pull as many votes as any of the other three identical goons, because the party of old white guys who love war, and persecution of homosexuals, and beating women, and raping the environment are barely one step away from their grandpappy’s pappy who loved to string up our black brethren and sistren’s ancestors. It’s appalling. It’s fucking shocking, and I know it shouldn’t be. Consider the source. What a vulgar fucking human being Frothy is. Holy shit do I use that term human being loosely.

Well, folks let’s sit back and enjoy the fireworks. If they ever arrive. I can’t imagine the media covering an important story like this. Who needs it when gas might rise to five dollars per gallon. Fucking attention deficit morons.

Peace my nnnn… ice peeps,

Sturm

 

"Yeah? So? What's the big fucking deal?"

The 2012 Republican Primary: A Game of Drones.

"Well hells ya I support Romney. Santorum? Absolutely. Ron Paul? Of course. Gingrinch? Without a doubt. Who am I gonna vote fer then? Well I'm an independent, duh, so I vote what my consum... my consen... my constipation dictates... I'll vote fer whoever I damn well please! Now kindly step out of my way, college boy, I need to get to that Hooters over there for some oysters!"

Ron Paul, Newt Gingrinch, Mitt Romney, and the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex. What do they all have in common? They are all parasitic creatures feeding off  of others whether it be those less fortunate souls’ fears, hopes, hard work, or mere desire to eek out a simple, inconsequential existence. They are playing a dangerous game with this civilization, and worse this planet and it’s fragile ecosystem of which humans are merely another part. They are drones and nothing more. Well, not exactly. They are also clones. Each one represents the other in reality. There are minimal differences. Sure there are subtle nuances that give one more credit with a certain pocket of the Republie/con party, but make no mistake, they all represent the same end: big and oppressive government, endless war, cementation of religion within the political system, misogyny, homophobia, racism (yeah assholes, even that now thankfully irrelevant teatard Herman Cain), environmental desecration, and civil rights repeal. Did I miss anything? Oh yeah. How about an inability to display plain old fucking decency, compassion, and foresight?

I know, a lot of people will come to the defense of Ron Paul claiming he is not like the others. They say he actually has some civility and sense about him. Even some of my liberal friends and coworkers are guilty of coming to the aid of his perhaps slightly more subtle yet equally damaging hyperbole. “I like Ron Paul,” they’ll say. Or, “Ron Paul’s not that bad. At least he’s genuine.” Genuine? How? In what sense? He’s a Republican reaching hard for the “independents” and thankfully he’s failing, because in the end he’d be just like the other three morands in the race.

Now I know I’m prone to my own hyperbole, but you see the difference is, mine doesn’t lead to war, environmental desecration, or civil entropy. And mine is awesome. Some have and will continue to criticize my “tired talking points” (those pesky ideas of misogyny, civil rights, the environment, etc, etc) and that’s fine. Who cares? They are sub-human creatures that barely evolved beyond our ape ancestor mentality. All they are capable of is a lot of  grunting and chest thumping and during every major election, drawing a shaky line to complete the arrow pointing to anyone with an (R) by their name on a ballot.

"Ah, yes 'tis one hundred purrcent true. I shit in a box and then promptly lick my own asshole. All I think about is eating, pooping, getting scratched, and batting dripping water, but I have a vastly more refined social conscientiousness than all of those teabaggers I have watched from my kingly window perch."

Anyways, I have digressed (but not really). Back to my main point. What I’m saying is that all four of these goons are identical to one another save a few nuances in their individualized insanity. Ron Paul believes inner city blacks will stick you with AIDS infested needles (he approved publication of racist newsletters stating so). Newt Gingrich believes it is okay to cheat on your wife (during work hours) while berating and calling for the impeachment of an asshole president who did the exact same. Mitt Romney believes he’s going to inherit a planet and have many wives when he dies. And frothy discharge believes… well so many heinous things (a six thousand year old earth for starters) that he should be automatically disqualified for being inconsequential but he hasn’t. He’s a theocrat for fuck’s sake! You know, the funny thing is even his own overly oppressed wife doesn’t believe the bullshit that comes spewing out of her misogynistic, creationist asshole husband’s mouth. Pre-Santorum, she lived with a man out of wedlock for christ’s sake. Of course froth meister will talk about how she repented and has been forgiven by god (which is another way of saying froth-man is merely, and graciously according to him, letting bygones be bygones). What in the name of christ’s holy shit is wrong with these people? Bah, why analyze their banalities? It gets us nowhere. That’s energy better spent making a stuffed grilled cheese sandwich. Or petting my vastly more important cats.

"Whoa guys! When I said suit up, I didn't mean blabber like morons and spout crazy ideas in public. But Mitt, man. Way to go on baggin' those babes in the afterlife, bro! Not sure about the marriage part though."

So you see, despite these nuances, the fundamental beliefs of all four candidates have been, still are, and forever will be identical. You know, it’s weird the dichotomy of anger and humor that this whole Republie/con primary delivers to me on a silver fucking platter. I’m 99.99% certain it’s the common thread of rising religion leading towards theocracy weaving throughout all of these suited up assholes that disgusts and horrifies me the most. What’s most ironic (and moronic) about this idea of theocracy is that the dolts that will automatically vote for WHOEVER wins this race to the bottom are the same assholes that shriek about all of the islamic (not capitalized to emphasize insignificance) theocratic states. Of course they’re too ignorant to use the word theocratic and choose instead, oh I don’t know, “towel heads” or “sand niggers” or some compilation of words that cling to the false idea that christianity is even microscopically less crazy than islam. Idiots.

Now I hate Obama. Not personally of course, but because he’s a right leaning corporate Dimocrat. Too many of his policies fight for the wrong side. He’s dropped the ball so many times it’s not even worth watching the game anymore for fear of punching my beautiful 47 inch LED t.v. He failed to punish BP like he should have. Even fucking Brazil has detained the executives of Chevron for shitting in the water. Have you seen this? It’s unbelievable. Maybe it won’t go anywhere, but it’s a god damned great start. But could Obama do that? No, because the asshole needs his own post-presidency golden parachute. What an asshole. He’s even gone so far as to open up further drilling in the name of energy independence. What a panderer to the simpleton, “drill baby drill” crowd. But we can’t stop there. Oh, no. He also caved in to the demands of the cathoholics on birth control. He pandered to the military, keeping unnecessary wars rolling far longer than he should have. He supports the idea that “corporations are people too, my friend.” So excuse the hyperbole, but Barack’s nothing more than a Republie/con.

But as much as I hate Obama, I truly hate the open Republie/cons more. It makes me smile when I see that the longer this primary rolls on, the more Barack’s numbers swell. Why? No, not because Barack will probably win in November, but because it shows the indisputable stupidity and the incredible arrogance and the outright uselessness of the right. Does anyone actually think if say frothy discharge wins the primary that anyone who unwaveringly supported Ron Paul will refuse to vote for anal drainage? No, of course not. Why? Is it because all four candidates ultimately support their own stunted and wicked belief systems? Without a doubt, but more importantly it’s because all four of them are all inter-fucking-changeable. They’re cloned drones if you will. End of story.

Peace,

Sturm

"Uhhhhhhh... sand niggar!"

Rush Limbaugh: Last best hope against those slutty harlot prostitutes and their whorish pill problems.

Flush Bimbo says, "After overdosing on sildenafil citrate (which my insurance readily pays for even though I'm rich) and then watching my wife come to fake orgasm just to get me to stop sweating and heaving on top of her, I like to listen to that disgusting homo Elton's music while contemplating the greatness of my sheer existence. It's good to be king of the teatards!"

Pill problems. What does Flush Bimbo know about pills? So it would appear that the king of the teatards, the oxycontin eatin’ asshole, the master of misogyny went and spoke out of turn and without thought (which is every time he flaps his smegma encrusted jowls) . I’m sorry, but did he actually call that vastly more intelligent and useful law student Sandra Fluke a whore, a slut, a harlot for going before our ineffectual (all of ‘em for different reasons) politicians in support of birth control? For those of you who haven’t been paying attention or work too much to always catch the news, here is Flush’s self imposed debacle of embraced insanity. Now it may come as a surprise to you that I don’t like Flush. I hate him in fact. If he ate one too many twice baked pork rinds topped with sour cream, pepper jack and bacon and died from a coronary, I wouldn’t cry, in fact I’d cheer. Maybe not as loud as if Al Queda flew a plane into the Daytona 500, but I’d cheer none the less. He is a wicked creature, an abomination of human conscience who deserves nothing less than to suffer as all rats do at the hand of an overdose of D-con. He is horrible. He is heinous. He is a tax (something he hates) on society. There is no excuse and even less defense for the continuation of his existence. Hopefully he’ll soon pull an Andrew Breitbart. Man I smiled the day Andy died. Good riddance.

But let’s put my rationality aside for just a moment and speak to the abomination that is Flush Bimbo’s belief system. He, like ALL present day conservatives, believes that birth control is evil. Does he believe it separates us from his misogynistic god? Yaaaawn. Probably. Anytime anyone brings religion into the debate they automatically lose. Let’s assume for one minute that he does NOT have the ambitions of his typical religious zealot followers. Even without the mentioning of religion, he believes that all women who use and/or believe birth control should be covered by assistance programs/insurance are sluts. Don’t believe me? Read the fucking article.

Now what is typical of him and his slimy ilk is that they believe birth control should not be covered for any women, but they do believe wholeheartedly that Viagra should be covered for any men. Typical of the Davie Koch idolizing morands. Take this proof positive quote from admiral dipshit:

“Three thousand dollars for birth control in three years? That’s a thousand dollars a year of sex — and, she wants us to pay for it. … They’re admitting before congressional committee that they’re having so much sex they can’t afford the birth control pills!” 

This one quote is the only quote you need to read to realize how dangerously ignorant and fundamentally wrong Flush and his tea tardy followers are. He’s an idiot for many reasons but here because he clearly thinks that birth control is taken on an as needed basis, as if you only take a few doses here and there when you want to have the occasional round of seedy power banging. Hey Flush! It’s a continuous dose. The ladies take it every day save one week a month to make sure they bleed as nature dictates. It doesn’t matter if they fuck once an hour or once a year, the dose is the fucking same and it has to remain so in order to ensure efficacy. You’d think a guy who’s been married as many times and has flopped around like a crippled, tusk-less walrus on top of as many plastic, mannequin-esque bimbos as Flush has would understand this. But he doesn’t. And neither do any of his asshole, oxygen wasting followers. And trust me, assholes. I have insurance and my wife and I end up paying $750 out of pocket each year to prevent little ones who would be vastly more socially adept and productive and useful than Rush from escaping into the world. This is of course not even touching the fact that birth control, a hormonal regulating agent, can and IS used for an incredible number of reasons beyond preventing babies.

"With my Viagra script I shall now be able to spread my seed across this great country of mine as easily as campaign financing for wickedly ignorant and willfully malignant Republicans. Thank you Pfizer!"

But would conservatives like Flush or Santorum or O’Reilly or Cain or Palin or Perry understand the facts? Would they even care? No, because “god” (not capitalized to emphasize insignificance) commands that we don’t prevent birth. He (it’s ALWAYS a he) wants us to proliferate, because he created semen and eggs and they are meant to meet in a warm, dark, moist place to create babies. Really Flush? God made it that way? What about your flaccid pecker? Isn’t that the way god made it? If you can’t pop wood to stick it to your heinous wife (I sure as shit couldn’t get it up for her either), then isn’t that just the way it’s supposed to be? Your dick ain’t meant to get thick asshole. “god” said so. Tough shit. Fuck you if you think we should pay for your Viagra which I guarantee is more expensive than birth control. If you don’t approve of birth control for all those female sluts, then we sure as shit shouldn’t pay for Viagra for all those male sluts either, especially lurching, lumbering, useless walruses like yourself. Fair is fair, asshole. Oh, and Flush? Your precious sildenafil? That IS taken on an as needed basis, morand, and you don’t need anymore. You’re cut off you blubbering fucking bovine cunt.

But I’m wasting my calories thundering away on this keyboard. Those who need to hear and accept this never will. They are beyond reach and well beyond reproach according to their imaginary and misogynistic petulant child god. My smart followers get it. All I can say is I wish Flush’s parents had used birth control. All types simultaneously; condoms, sponges, pills, and spermicidal creams, just to prevent the creation of one of the worst mutations of the current human gene pool. Of course then who would have assisted with the proliferation of the opium trade? Certainly Afghanistan would be in an economic crisis greater than the one that is currently plaguing this great country of Flush and his tea tardy followers.

Anyway, take care peeps and bang safely and with great empowerment, even if admiral dipshit and his sheeple will call you a slut or a harlot or a prostitute for doing so. Because Flush is all about equality and sensibility, I can only assume he is directing his misfiring cannons against all of us slutty males too.

Sturm

P.S. Prostitutes do far more for society than Flush ever has or ever will.

Ding dong the bitch is dead! Which old bitch?!

My hagraven grandmother. Not your typical cute 'n cuddly grandma. No cookie baking here, folks.

Well, it has finally happened. The world can breathe a bit easier. Kittens no longer release muffled mews from inside canvas sacks. The laughter of children can once again return to the streets. A great weight has been lifted from the hearts and minds of the innocent. The kind and the gentle have nothing more to fear, for she, the one of whom I rarely choose to speak, has died. The leather skinned abomination, the hagraven, who sucked the joy from all who dared venture too near, has fallen prey to nature’s final cold embrace. No, I’m not talking about Whitney Houston, I’m talking about mother figure’s mother figure. Grandmother figure if you will.

Man my grandmother figure was a bitch. Now I don’t mean to merely imply she was a crabby, prone to irritation because she lived through the Great Depression woman. No, that would be understandable. Shit no, this woman was a down right nasty fucking sociopathic mega-asshole that would have sooner crushed puppy skulls in front of me than give four year old Sturm a hug. That’s all I needed growing up. One heartfelt hug from granny. But no that was too much to ask. It was all about cold “love” I guess, teaching me the harsh realities of the world which I guess could have been fine, except she didn’t actually end up teaching me shit. She merely reinforced the feelings of revulsion that arrived every time my neurotic, narcissistic mother sent me up to see her sadistic mentor for six weeks out of every summer. For more reflections on mother figure, please see my previous brilliant entry.

Seriously, ma? Six weeks? Did that bitch have any idea how much time that is to a child trapped in the icy, spindly hands of the enemy? Now the only saving grace was the fact that the hagraven lived in the middle of the fucking woods. I did like that part, because I spent all the hours of daylight roaming the woods, praying that I’d get mauled by a mother fucking black bear or adopted by a pack of wolves. But sadly every night as darkness fell upon the forest, so too did it fall upon my heart because I’d have to go back into that den of emotional iniquity where it resided. Her hissing voice and shuffling feet terrorized young me, planting the seeds of anxiety, self-doubt, and deprecation that would fully blossom by the time I discovered how fucking awesome masturbation was. Of course let’s not forget the guilt that accompanies the emotionally terrorized.

"Come here little Sturm. Granny needs a kiss. Just kidding! Here's a gift for you I left in the bedpan! Eat it you little bastard!"

I’m sure some of you will wave your hand and say “Bah!” as you believe I exaggerate the despicable existence of grandmother figure. I don’t. It was real. Other, more enlightened readers may be wondering why she behaved in the way she did. Well that’s easy. I can tell you. Quite simply, she was a full blown malignant narcissist. Okay, okay maybe she wasn’t as far gone as to kill my pets in front of me, but she was cruel enough to make it known that she loved her pet schnauzer far more than she loved me or ANY of my siblings (they’ll probably disagree). But I knew. I could see it in her eyes. The way she gazed at me across the table during breakfast. Every time I reached for a piece of toast or the milk she would judge and then snap because I moved to fast or made too much noise or dropped a crumb upon her favorite table cloth. Cold fucking bitch. Holy shit she was wicked.

You know what’s crazy? I think during my whole life I saw that cunt smile like maybe twice. One of those was when she and her husband sold their Kellogg’s stock when it was high and spent it all traveling the world. Good for them. No, I really mean it. You earned it, you spend it. Whatever you gotta do to be happy. Who the fuck knows what the other smile was for. Like all narcissists, the hagraven was a master manipulator and master of denigration of those she should have cared for. She made it perfectly clear that she despised her daughter’s side of the family. She fucking loathed us. Her son’s side, however, could do no wrong. Their fucking feces smelled like freshly baked cinnamon rolls. Nevermind that her son fucking cheated on his own wife of many years and that his son partied with blow while committing various crimes. Assholes. But little Sturm breaks her two dollar chipmunk bottle and holy fuck all it’s the end of the world! “You always were a trouble maker, Sturm!” (Note narcissist tactic of negative reinforcement and superiority) What a bitch.

Know what’s worse than having a narcissistic grandmother figure? Having an enabling asshole grandfather figure to do her wicked bidding. This guy was a cowardly piece of work. I fucking resent that man. It’s a good thing he’s dead because my words may well cut him to his brittle bones were he alive today. He died about the time I started this little blahg. I remember visiting him on his death bed about two days before the sweet release. Part of me wanted to lean in and whisper: “I’m glad you’re dying,” or “I hope this hurts, gramps.” But I didn’t, because unlike him and his cunt wife, I actually have a conscience. Don’t get me wrong, grandfather figure was actually nice more often than not. I actually liked him most of the time except when he was being a control freak. My anger against him stems from the simple fact that he didn’t stand up against the blatant emotional abuse his hagraven wife unleashed upon us. And for that he deserves to have his ass fucking crushed. Mother figure called him a big teddy bear. Me? I call him a spineless, slithering coward. Maybe he is the aforementioned teddy bear’s asshole. Fuck him. And fuck her.

"You know what? I'm not giving too much thought to this somatic narcissism of which you speak, I just think my shit literally does not stink. Man I'm awesome!"

So my dead grandmother was a narcissist and she passed all of her acidic knowledge on to her own daughter who in turn continued to fill my own young head with self doubt, anxiety, inner turmoil, and vapid fear. My mother was a victim, no doubt. She has truly suffered at the hands of her narcissistic mother figure and iron fist controlling father figure. It should make me feel sympathy, but it doesn’t. Why? Because she has decades on me. Mother figure should have grown up. She should have recognized the shit sandwiches her own mother fed her. Hell, I did. She should have gotten psychological help. More so it was her responsibility, nay, her fucking DUTY as an adult to deal with her own demons, especially before she dared bring children of her own into this world to corrupt them and plague them with her own fucking insecurities.  But she didn’t. Nope, the fucking bitch was lazy and cowardly. She buried her issues deep in the minds of her offspring. She became a “mother” so that she could have something to love her. She popped out kids to have little friends to talk to and vent to. Know what it’s like to be a kid and have your mother unload all her secrets and doubts about her marriage onto your vulnerable mind? It’s devastating. She only bred to fill the void in her life set forth by her own shitty parents and in the fallout created young casualties of war. She failed. Of course she had a cowardly father to set an example so big fucking surprise. Did I mention that asshole threatened to disown her when she protested the Vietnam War? What a prick fucking douche nozzle that dead asshole was. At least he can do no more harm to his daughter.

So my life has shed another malicious figure. It is good. It is freeing. I do not weep. I do not fear. Quite simply, I do not care. The narcissists and their enablers have tried their best to lead me astray, to make me fall in line with their wicked ways but I refuse. I rise above them because I am better than them. They are the shit upon my sole. They are annoying. They stink. They are foul. But in the end they are inconsequential. I will wipe them off upon the grass and carry on my own way. Mother figure wants to fix what has happened. She is hurt that I have pulled away (see how narcissists spin it all to be about them? Here are more traits). She wants to heal the damage and then have a normal relationship. Normal? You killed normal years ago, ma. No. There can be no forgiveness and there certainly can be no forgetting. If there is one thing I have learned in my life, it is that a narcissist can never be trusted. They cannot and they will not change. The disorder will even be taken off the DSM-5 probably because it is too hard to diagnose and even harder to treat. Plus most narcissists aren’t malignant narcissists and in the end can you really treat someone who is just guilty of being a complete asshole? No you can’t. The only thing that can be done with these people is to excise them as if they are tumors. Which is what they are, malignant tumors that will invade every last centimeter of healthy tissue until all is consumed. This means setting up a policy of no contact if all other boundaries fail. I am not there yet, but I may be soon.

As for the hagraven. When the ground thaws in the spring and I am called to head north to finally witness her corpse heaved into a grave, I think I may well pass, for you see it is all so unbelievably inconsequential to me. I’m not angry anymore. I haven’t been for awhile. I just don’t care. I don’t care about my uncle or his family enough or my narcissistic mother enough to stand around in a cold spring wind pretending to give a rancid shit. I’ve got better things to do, like live my life. The things I care about are far more worthy of my time. I care about my friends. I care about my wife. I care about my cats. I even care about my new and difficult  job though those idiotic teatards would claim otherwise. But I don’t care about the narcissists that have wandered around within my life, treading wherever and however loudly they please. Not anymore. And I never will again.

Peace of mind,

Sturm

Donald Trump… Idiot hero and go to guy of the Republicans.

"I endorse Palin... no Pawlenty... no the byproduct of anal sex, what was his name?... uhh, no I mean Newt... wait, no Romney. Yeah, Romney!!! Mitt promised me a mansion on his planet when I die. The ruler of Kolob commands it!"

You know what irks me more than anything? When inconsequential pieces of maggot infested shit conservatives hog the stage and refuse to acknowledge what a joke they are. Yes, I’m talking about Donald Trump. Since when did this asshole’s opinion come to be respected on any level? Donald Trump? Seriously? What a joke. It appears he is suddenly endorsing Mitt Romney. Wait a minute, wasn’t it Newt Gingrich like a month ago? Oh, that’s right, it’s the republie/con party. This is the party of infantile attention deficit morons who can barely remember to breathe that make up the vast majority of their party. Stupid bastards.

Seriously, they trust Don? The republie/con party is seriously deferring to this asshole’s judgment? The party of “fiscal conservatism” (despite spending countless billions on war with EVERY republie/con administration in my fucking lifetime) is putting all of their trust in a guy who’s been bankrupt more times and depended on government money (welfare) than any “welfare maggot” these hypocritical, misogynistic drains on society attack at every turn? Wow. Pathetic.

"Don't be stupid. Vote anything but republican!"

Did I ever tell you how much I hate conservatives? Fuck these assholes are stupid and this whole debacle only confirms it. Don represents the vast majority of his party, he really does. He’s like Glen Beck or Bill O’Reilley or the Koch bros. He’s a racist, bigoted, short sighted old man who spouts fragile and rudimentary opinions disguised as knowledge. He’s a morand (a moron that worships Ayn Rand) who when it gets right down to it, barely has the brain capacity to tie his own shoes, let alone grasp insanely complicated financial concepts like debt, GNP, GDP, etc, etc. Corky in his teen television years would have been a vastly more shrewd businessman than that show boater Don. Don’s an idiot, plain and simple just like anyone worth less than a few cool million that votes republican. Young Corky at least had common sense and decency as a social foundation. Oh, and again, let’s not forget that Don’s been BANKRUPT… multiple times! How’s that for fucking irony? Jack ass can’t even manage his own money let alone that of 150 million taxpayers. So by all means republie/cons, go ahead and put your trust in somebody that couldn’t hold himself in a debate against an aborted baby. Oh, and if you republie/cons happen to  steal the White House from that moderate piece of shit corporate Dimocrap Obama in November, it would most definitely be a tragedy to end all tragedies, but hey… la la la la life goes on!

The Wisconsin GOP has another enemy… Vince Megna, “King of Lemon Laws”.

 

Sorry I haven’t written in awhile. I have no really good excuses other than I’ve been busy submerging myself in the magnificence of Skyrim… that is until my Playstation 3 died two days ago. It’s probably Scotteabagger Fitzgerald’s fault. Fuck him… and fuck Sony. It only strengthens my Sony boycott that has been going on for between two and three years… yeah, I know I bought one game from them. Sue me bitches. I’m not perfect. I’ve also been uninspired as it’s merely one gigantic shit fest after another from the Wisconsin Gaping Orifice Projectiles… I’ve been uninspired until now that is.

"Wing ding diddly ding dang doo. Have I got a super message for you. Stand with Walker or I'll string you up like a Jew! Walker for president twenty twelve. Yeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaw!"

So the video above. This guy is my new hero. What a beautiful fucking video. Shot for shot it is the epitome of perfection in this wonderfully venomous climate. It crushes the competition with its acerbic wit and sarcasm that stings like a thousand angry bees upon Macaulay Culkin’s prepubescent flesh. There hasn’t been anything even remotely close to this caliber since that dipshit Scott took the oath of office, pledging his allegiance to an imaginary misogynistic friend in the sky, a six thousand year old earth, and those two smarmy, creepy, Viagra popping brothers who want to bathe the world in the blood of libturds and anyone else with even an ounce of progressivism. I’m sure Teddy Roosevelt is on their list of most hated. I have no doubt they’d love to dig him up and skull fuck him with their new found erectile flesh.

You know, as I was watching this video, I imagined a bunch of Republie/con simpletons gathered around watching it in all seriousness saying, “Yeah… hell yeah. Fuckin’ a. That’s right! This dude understands!” You see, single celled abominations like Republie/cons and their slithering symbiotic organisms called teabaggers are too stupid to understand sarcasm and irony. I doubt they’d recognize it if it was Davie Koch’s shriveled ball sack slapping against the insides of their cheeks. They are all intellectual duds, weapons of mass desecration if you will. Stupid teabaggers. Sadistic Republie/cons. Move down to Pulaski, Tennessee where your values of racism, hatred, and bigotry have been condoned and emboldened since the grand ‘ol year of 1865. Fucking conservatives. Did I ever tell you how much I hate these creatures of the Knight?

Know what I like most about Vince Megna? Besides that he’s fucking awesome I mean. He has actually stated he will no longer represent Republican clients. I love it. This is perfect. I for one am done reaching across the aisle. Fuck the political right. I’m hunkering down to ensure that this political divide tears through Wisconsin like a 9.8 out in Cali. I’m through with the extremist bullshit of the right. These conservative misanthropists are not my friends and they are certainly not my allies. I couldn’t give a fetid shit what happens to them. I too plan on continuing the boycott of anything Republie/con until the end of time. And that includes family. As Obama said, there are consequences to being a stupid fucking Republie/con… didn’t he say that? I think he did. Anyway, you get the jist.

Senate Mawhoreity leader Scott Fitzgerald says: "Do you see the twisted hate in its eyes? Do you see the dangers inherent with its agressive stance? This the the enemy of the conservatard... I mean tive movement. It must be exterminated. Poison its water. Roll back protections for free loaders like this. Kill 'em all!"

Since these abominations of conscience are claiming through their legislation, “Fuck the poor. Fuck the Jews. Fuck the sick and injured. Fuck the compassionate. Fuck the animals. Fuck the water. Fuck women’s rights. Fuck education. Fuck the old. Fuck the middle class. Fuck the fucking world!” I say, “Fuck Republie/cons.” They are a disease and they should be treated as such. They should be quarantined from the rest of civilization until they fade away like a flame without oxygen. Excise these tumors from your life. Again, it doesn’t matter if they are family or not. Cut ‘em out. They can do you no good. They cannot be bargained or reasoned with. They refuse to negotiate. Don’t buy into this bullshit idea that the right wing is only trying to bring balance to the world. Balance isn’t always good, especially when the “balancing” opposition promotes hatred, intolerance, bigotry, sexism, environmental destruction, desecration of the truth, and misinformation to promote an agenda that purports all of the above.

Of course, all of the “moderates” (conservatives) and conservatives out there will shriek, “But… but…. but Sturm! You… you… your (sic) prowmowting (sic) intolerents (sic) and haytrid (sic). Your (sic) a hippocriticle (sic) jerk, you… you jerk!” You know what? You got me. I do promote these things, but as I’ve said in a number of previous entries, only against those who choose… who fucking CHOOSE… to act and think in ways that your kind does. I don’t hate blacks for having a higher melanin content in their skin. I don’t hate women for having two X chromosomes. I don’t hate gay men and women for being genetically inclined to falling in love… in LOVE… with another man or woman. I don’t hate animals for being all cute and fluffy… or even ugly and slithering (except teabaggers). I don’t hate old people for surviving for decades in a world on the decline because of conservatives and enabling liberals like Obama. I don’t hate water for being… wet? I hate you because you choose to wage war on these things and the world as a whole. It’s like you want to see the world burn under the guise of bringing back “fiscal sanity”. Hey morons! Want to know where the present day fiscal insanity came from? You. You are one hundred percent to blame, because you elected a retard from Texas to the highest office of the land not once, but twice. TWICE. ALL teabaggers voted for GWB. Every last one of you. Talk about insanity. And inanity. Three failed wars (Iraq, Afganistan, drugs). Tax cuts across the board (more for his rich buddies than anyone else). Deregulation of industry. Need I go on? Really? Okay. Denying global warming. Refusing to sign the Kyoto protocol, but then REFUSING to offer a better alternative. Refusing (like Obama) to slow oil drilling and begin the process of developing alternative, RENEWABLE energies. Increasing public spending by some 70%.  Wasting money/education resources on abstinence only education (sounds familiar, eh?). Cutting benefits for veterans of his bullshit wars. I think you get the idea. So Republie/cons and their teabagger leeches turn a blind eye to all the heinous shit done by their yokel president and then have the audacity to blame “Nobama” for the current economic woes of this country? Fucking simpletons. Good thing they have enabling redneck wives to dress them in the morning and then remind them to breathe throughout the day.

I could go on and on and fucking on, but I’m done… for now. I simply wanted to show you this magnificent video. I’m going to have to watch it again. Why don’t you join me?

 

 

“My governor rolls with that.” Fucking brilliant. Thanks a million, Mr. Megna. You’ve made my year. I wish you’d represent me in my claim against Madison Property Management for inappropriately seizing part of my rental deposit from one of their 100 year old slums. But as you implied, it’s a lost cause anyway with the shit state of consumer protection in this state. It seems Wisconsin truly has become yet another addition to the south of the Mason-Dixon line army of the deluded. Keep up the fight, friend. Know that I’ll be right there beside you.

Peace,

Sturm

"It's not that shriveled."

Obama’s failed administration culminates with his support of further oil and gas drilling. “Drill baby, drill!” he shouts.

"Cool story, bro. But you see, when I said hope and change, I meant related to Sasha and Malia's financial future. Book deals, speaking tours, public appearances... you know shit important peeps like me get to do. Ching bitches! Fuck the pelicans and polar bears. I'm B. to the H. to the mother fucking O. Myyyy bullshit brings all the libs to the polls... my lies are betta than yo's!"

I know a lot of people think I am a die hard libturd in unwavering support of Obama, but they’re wrong… of course teabaggers are always wrong, so what’s new? I’m gonna be brutally honest. I don’t like Obama. I don’t like him at all. Not only is he a member of the party of ineffectuality, but he’s a pussy (no disrespect, ladies. I love your pussies) and a panderer and it’s all because in the end he supports the corporate agenda. He is a corporate tool, a smooth talking, R&B swaggering corporate tool. I believe he honestly believes in the snide and skew philosophies of his “conservative” counterparts. Why else has he side stepped important issues, turn coated on sensitive topics, and coddled them every step of the way? Because he’s fucking one of them. His decision to open up further drilling contracts in the Gulf of Mexico and Alaska only prove this. This, along with his support of a pipeline through delicate ecosystems from Canada to Texas, is the final straw. I am no longer on your side Barack. Your administration will never have my support again.

"Oh cripes, I tells ya! It sure was great when that Indonesian guy Osama decided to come to my DBD party! There isn't any party like a drill baby drill party, doncha know? Say it ain't so mo fo! Cripes I love this new jiving, hip talking urban me!"

I mean what in the name of Christ’s holy shit is this guy thinking? He may as well be holding hands with that single celled abomination called Sarah Palin while chanting “Drill baby, drill!” or singing “We shall underwhelm!” He’s an ineffectual. He’s a panderer to the ignorant. He’s a right leaning “moderate” piece of shit, no doubt about it. Sure, he opened up stem cell research during his first week on the job and then nearly three years later he wisely ended don’t ask don’t tell, but what the fuck else has he accomplished that is filled with even the slightest level of moral responsibility? Moral responsibility… that’s something conservatives and their teabagger leeches scream about but in the end have no true understanding of. They sure as shit don’t have a moral compass… maybe an immoral sextant? Perhaps. Whatever it is, it certainly is driving them into the depths of depravity. And Obama’s going with them. Fucking teabaggers. Did I ever tell you how much I hate teabaggers? What do you do with such a rampant vermin infestation?

So we’re drillin’ baby, drillin’. Exciting isn’t it? Ushering in a new era of environmental and social responsibility? I’m sure glad we had the warning shot of the Gulf oil spill two summers ago to set us on the path of responsibility. It’s really refreshing to see that the Obama administration is holding tight to those lessons and ushering in punitive legislation for those who endanger the people and more importantly the other wildlife of this planet. What’s that? They’re not? Oh yeah, that’s right. That’s just my pesky, hippy libturd idealism shining through. It always blinds me to the reality of the 60% plus majority of higher functioning apes who want to mine, scrape, chop, burn, crush, crumble, boil, drill, split, grind, yank, and suck every ounce of “god given” resources from this planet… like that teabaggin’ piece of shit Herman Cain. Remember his ANWR stance? His war on the arctic wildlife? His bullshit belief in arctic sovereignty? Fuck that guy. He’s a dangerous human being (I use this term human loosely).

Guess what suckers? Obama’s just like him. What a disheartening fucking asshole Barack turned out to be. I fell for it, and I’m pissed as hell. He, like Scatt Wanker… I mean Scott Walker, campaigned on lies (I know, what politician besides Feingold doesn’t). But these lies hurt us immensely, ALL of us no matter how you voted in ’08. He promised to usher in new responsible legislation for the future of this planet. Social, environmental, and financial responsibility. Hooray! Fuckin’ a! He also spread that hope and change bullshit around like feces in an 18th century insane asylum, but he did nothing to move in that direction. Nothing. Why couldn’t he be more like Bush and bully an agenda through, namely those environmental and social change ones he PROMISED us? Why couldn’t he move this teatarded country forward by moving us to renewable energy like he PROMISED us? Conservatives are dead wrong when they claim there is no future in renewable energy. There is ONLY a future in renewable energy. Why couldn’t Barack be like FDR and say, “Listen guys. This is the shit that’s gonna go down. I’m doing this no matter what. If you don’t like it, vote me out in four years.” Why couldn’t he do these things? It’s simple. Because he didn’t and doesn’t believe the shit that came/comes forth from his mouth. He’s a liar. He’s a right of center piece of ”moderate” shit.

Now I don’t blame Barack for a shitty economy and spiking unemployment like those silly, selfish, and stupid teabaggers do. That shit exists in huge part because of that retard they elected in 2000 and again in 2004. Make no mistake, teabaggers got us where we are today. No, you see my raging anger and disgust stems from his lack of matching ideals. He supports corporations having civil rights. He denies the need for regulation of drilling. He refuses to punish corporations like BP for willful and wonton destruction. He refuses to advance renewable energy. He compromises the civil rights of others by remaining on the side lines as his conservative allies pass filthy legislation that denies women health care and tries to make miscarriages illegal. You see, he portrayed himself as an idealist, but he is no idealist. Hell, he barely passes as a member of that shitty party of ineffectuals called the democratic party. Rick Perry used to be a Democrat, remember? Barack is nothing but a corporate (I repeat that not all corporations are bad) criminal like the rest of them. He’s just smarter because he’s wily and subtle in his behavior unlike those wicked Pavlovian Republicans. I fell for Barack’s act in 2008. I did, and for that I am ashamed, but never again. Trust me, come 2012 you do not have my vote, Barack. Not even close.

"I warned you that lamanite was up to no good! Now we'll see how bright the future can be with the good, the wise, the grand book of mor(m)on! Sing it with me America! Joseph Smith! There was a man! Heigh ho, diddle dee dough. He'll make our country grow-o-o-o! He'll make our country grow! Peace out! I'm heading back to my vacation planet a couple hundred light years away from Kolob. You can let the lamanites out of their cages to clean up in here now."

So listen, Republicans and all you slithering symbiotic organisms called teabaggers. You may well win in your war to crush this quivering planet come November 2012, because as of November 9th 2011, I will NOT be voting for Barack H. Obama. He is a failure. He is a disappointment. He is just another slimy suit paid for by criminal corporate greed. He is a coward. He is a panderer to the simpletons. He is a destroyer of worlds, namely this natural one of which we are an integral and NO MORE important part of. And let me tell you something, if Obama can’t get the vote of this one lonely and passionate idealist, then what hope does he have? Call me a sadist, but I kind of hope Obama gets crushed in the November 2012 election. Let’s see you “hope and change” your way out of that one, asshole.

So all we can do now is see how badly that mor(m)on suit can fuck shit up (IF Obama doesn’t win because of a reverse Nader effect). Hell, Mitt thinks that pesky lamanite Obama is cursed anyway. Maybe, just maybe he’s right, but not for the reasons his kooky fucking story book (a.k.a. scripture) tells him. You see, that’s just racism protected by freedom of religion. 1976 people. That’s when blacks were taken off the mor(m)on shit list. And he’s not right because that schizophrenic voice of “god” tells him so. No, that’s simply his untreated mental illness. No, no, no quite simply, Obama’s cursed because he’s a lying and dangerous fucking asshole… just like Limbaugh, O’Reilly, Pawlenty, Palin, Cain, Geithner, Immelt, Bush I, Bush II, and that adulterous gigaloo from Arkansas elected back in ’92. Fuck ‘em all. Fuck ‘em hard. Trying to portray yourself as an idealist won’t work again, Barack. As one of your greatest allies once said: “Fool me once, shame on– shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.”

Peace,

Sturm 2012

Abstinence education… the Republican party’s far from last stand.

"Hiya kiddos! Are you ready to learn? I said, ARE YOU READY TO LEARN?! Okay! Boys, don't forget to place me on your penis to prevent disease and pregnancy. To do so all you do is... Umm, excuse me. Who are you? What are you doing? I'm trying to teach these kids about... the Republicans say that I'm bullshit and hurting children? Let go of me! I'm sex education!"

Abstinence. Education. Two simple words that when put together spell nothing but confusion and chaos… a place towards which the Repube-lie/cons love pushing this country. You want an abstinence education? Okay, here it is: If you don’t stick your dick in a girl (or let it slip into your pussy), one and ONLY one thing is assured not to happen: Pregnancy. I’m sure if some simpleton (aren’t they all?) right winger and their dim offspring read this, he/she would say: “Uh derpa derp. But Sturm, ah derp, you forgot ah derp about disease. Derpa derp!  You can’t ah derp get disease if you don’t ah derpa derp have intercourse.” Wrong dipshits. You see, your limited definition of sex (penis inside vagina) probably leaves out hand jobs, blow jobs, pussy eating, finger fucking, corn holing, and butt sex… oh, let’s not forget all those man on man relations (there ain’t no vaginer morands) that your traditional and antiquated “values” so shamefully abhor. What the religious right wingers and conservative tool factories of this country don’t realize is that any type of intimate physical contact is sex. End of fucking story. Of course they’d say man on man or woman on woman is an abomination and shouldn’t be engaged in anyway. They probably want to make these expressions of love punishable by death, those ignorant assholes. In the meantime they’ll settle for the punishment handed down by that petulant toddler god in the sky they worship that keeps a scorecard and gets angry at every tiny thing you do.

Abstinence education is the goal of this new “jobs bill” that the rightard red of this state have pushed through. It is, of course, yet another bullshit agenda under the guise of a “special jobs session”. Let’s do a quick recap here of this “jobs” session.

Jobs created by this special session as of November 3rd, 2011: Zero. Guns and imaginary souls “saved”: lots.

Man I hate Republicans. No good waste of space cretins, all of them. This whole abstinence education thing is a sick, sadistic joke. Actually it’s worse. It’s an advancement of the religious right wingers’ dangerous agenda to subjugate the masses and spread seeds of ignorance and intolerance all across this planet. It reeks of religious hypocrisy. Show me REPEATED research, not just one religious organization’s skewed and corrupted research, that illustrates that abstinence education ALONE works. I want scientific evidence repeated multiple times, like all proper research findings are required to list. I dare you. You can’t because it doesn’t exist. And spare me your anecdotal evidence. It’s about as useful as brains on a teabagger.

"If I can't get myself some of that sex stuff everyone's talking about, then no one will. I'm Mary fucking Lazich!"

I’m sure Walker apologists will shriek about how the libturds need to read the linked article above. You see, apologists believe that that Repube hag Mary Lazich who sponsored this shit bill isn’t saying contraceptive and disease education is being banned. Well you know what? You’re right, assholes, it isn’t being banned. But it also isn’t being required, ONLY abstinence education is. Abstinence education. Seriously, what the fuck does that mean anyway? It’s a two word lesson. Don’t and fuck. If you don’t fuck you can’t get pregnant. It’s not even a rational or remotely useful message (but then again, what is from Republicans?). It’s like saying if you don’t go swimming you can’t drown or if you don’t get on an airplane you can’t die in a plane crash if you don’t leave the house you can’t get sunburned. Stupid Republicans. What purpose do they serve in society? To remind us how utterly idiotic humans can become? I’ve seen Jersey Shore. I don’t need more reminders, least of all one this close to home. Basically this bill will force schools to ONLY teach abstinence. They can strike all teaching of contraception, disease prevention, and other science based evidence from their curriculum  without threat of punishment, but if they omit abstinence teaching they’ll be breaking the law. Pathetic.

Now I’m not saying abstinence shouldn’t at least be mentioned in sex ed teaching curriculum. It should at least get a nod. If you want to get technical, the only way to prevent disease and pregnancy with 100% unfailing success is to keep your lips, tongues, fingers, fists, toes, cocks, and pussies away from another human being. But in the end, how much is this “wisdom” worth? Next to nothing because it simply doesn’t teach kids how to deal with the raging hormones that welcome them into adulthood from a young age. Whenever I see a wet paint, do not touch sign, I always touch it, don’t you? Give me knowledge. Give me data. Give me another way beyond prayer to protect myself when I get an erection when I see sweaty athletic women at the gym. Bottom line is we are animals, just like beavers, chimpanzees, dolphins, birds, etc, whose main and only biological goal to to procreate. Just because religious right wingers have faith there’s more to it than that, doesn’t make it so. They are dead wrong.

Of course Glenn the malignant Grothman chimed in on this whole debacle of the deluded. Yeah, he had wise words to say: “We are trying to back away from the bill passed last year that we feel mandated sex ed that was too nonjudgmental, too explicit and at too young an age,” Sen. Glenn Grothman, R-West Bend.

""Just ignore it Jimmy! Pray about it! But don't masturbate! No, no, no. For if thou shouldst takest thine rod into thine own hand and floggeth it until thine cup overfloweth with the seed of man, then thou shalt gnash thine teeth whilst you descend into ash in the fires of damnation! It's true, it says that in the bible! Where? Uhhh, near the end in... um... there's a book in there somewhere that says it!"

Too “nonjudgmental”. Your party IS the party of judgment. That’s all you creatures of shadow do, so this shouldn’t surprise me. But you see, in typical right wing fashion, he’s saying children should be judged, persecuted, and made to feel uncomfortable about their bodies when they go through natural biological changes. Hormones dictate young human lives, starting younger than 12 years of age. These kids need rational advice and options to deal with these changes. The religious right’s advice? Prayer, punishment, prayer, hail mary, prayer, punishment, prayer. Rinse and repeat. Oh, and don’t forget to read the bible!

The bible, what a fucking joke. I’d guess the advice against sexual development and accompanying horniness is somewhere in the book of Neuter-lobotomy chapter 4 verse 20, but I don’t read that bat shit crazy book. It’s a waste of trees, but it just so happens to be a fantastic place to leave spare condoms for future hotel room guests. The bottom line here is that the Republicans don’t care about evidence, science, or fact. You see they are allied with the religious right in their endless war against science and their goal of creating a massive army of stupor soldiers for that ancient olive skinned Jew’s imaginary return and subsequent “cleansing” of mother earth. Need I remind you that Jesus power banged dames and dudes alike? He did. Show me evidence to the contrary. Hell, you can’t even show me evidence that he existed at all let alone he’s got a flight arriving into LaGuardia within the next millenium. You have the burden of proof, morons. Or is that too edumacashuny of an idear fer yous?

So this Republican dolt Glenn (along with too many others) thinks that teaching about condoms and birth control is “too explicit” and that children in middle school and high school are “too young”. Morons. These right wingers know as well as I know that boys start popping wood at 4 or 5 years of age. Probably younger even. It freaked me out the first time it happened. It wasn’t until some time later that socially awkward me learned how to and had the ability to take care of it. Can you imagine the abuse children in religious families go through when not surprisingly their hormones instead of an imaginary guy in the sky dictate the terms of their development? They are shamed and punished for biological development and given powerful tools like prayer to combat it. Abusive assholes. Make no mistake, depriving your children of proper resources and education are also abuses. Parents should be imprisoned for these crimes along side those that beat, starve, and sexually abuse those they are supposed to protect and nurture. But there I go again being a hippy libturd showing acceptance and compassion for my fellow humans going through confusing yet natural experiences. Shame on me. I’m such an asshole.

Can we seriously just call this what it is? A fusion of religion and politics? This has been the Repube-lie/con (and a few dip shit Democrats) agenda for no less than my entire lifetime. And if anyone thinks it’s going to stop here, they will be sorely mistaken. I predict the life at conception campaign will mutate into a life at erection campaign. If the Republicans get their way, men would do prison time for the genocide that is masturbation.  Lock me up then Republicans, because Mao Ze-Dong, Stalin, and Hitler combined have nothing on me. I murdered over 900 million precious children of god this week alone.

Bottom line, what this legislation is about is crushing these types of enemy of the state. Women’s health organizations. Crush women with a misogynistic agenda. Attack until they can retreat no longer and then attack some more. Prevent resources for rape counseling and pregnancy counseling. Make birth control a distant memory through disinformation and refusal to pay for birth control pills. Meanwhile, the Koch brothers and their servants are allowed to have insurance pay for pills to make their shriveled dicks hard once more. Glory be!

No. It’s clear to me. This whole display is just more proof that Republicans have no business in politics any more. This party is fucking dead to me. NOONE can redeem them in my eyes. They’ve pushed their dangerous agenda too long and too far. They don’t give two fetid shits about the people, only their infantile beliefs and faulty “values”. They waste their time on bullshit legislation like gun control, abstinence education, and my personal favorite the “In god (not capitalized to emphasize insignificance) we trust” motto. This fairy tale saying should be struck from all government bodies including but not limited to books, buildings, and money. I do not trust in something that punishes children for advancing into sexual maturity. I do not trust in something that punishes women for being empowered to take control of their lives. I do not trust in something that threatens my eternity when I enjoy a drink, some masturbation, or a bit of sex. I do not trust in something that threatens a man for loving another man or threatens a woman for loving another woman. And most importantly, I do not trust in something that began as a figment of a few misogynistic men’s fucking uninspired imagination for global domination a few thousand years ago. I could shit a better story than the bible in its entirety. No. You can go ahead and keep your god. I’ve got my own. In Alduin I trust. Hey, there’s just as much chance of Alduin existing as god or jaweh or allah or whatever the fuck you think his (it’s ALWAYS a man… yawn) name is. At least my “god” looks cooler and can kick the shit out of your imaginary petulant toddler friend. In the meantime, why don’t you conservative men practice what you preach. Engage in abstinence for the next 30 or 40 years. Do planet earth a favor and prevent more of your ilk by stopping your milk. That definitely would do a planetary body good.

DOVahKiiN Fah HIN KOGaaN MU DRaaL,

Sturm

Concealed Carry… the only “accomplishment” of those pesky, pathetic redneck Republicans.

Meet Glock. He's a man's best friend, always in your undapants for all those "just in case" moments. Nifty.

Republicans. What do they stand for? I mean beyond destroying the environment, shitting on civil liberties, and waging war on all fronts? Guns. That’s it. Specifically, the right to carry one under your shirt wherever you want. In all the legislative sessions since the beginning of Walker’s goobernatorial term, this is the ONLY thing they have to “brag” about. It’s been a long fight for these rednecks and they won. But that’s all they’ve done in ten plus months. They didn’t deal with a budget crisis because there is none. They didn’t protect the beautiful natural resources of this state because they’re working tirelessly to hand them out to the highest bidder. They didn’t do anything to strengthen the educational system of this state and subsequently its future because they defunded the fuck out of it. They didn’t bring fiscal sanity to Wisconsin because they made it a distant memory with corporate welfare handouts. Isn’t it funny how redneck republicans always shriek mindlessly about human welfare maggots with ACTUAL civil liberties and need of “handouts” in tough times but they turn a blind eye to this bullshit of corporate coddling? Stupid teabaggers. Wicked republicans. I hope some day they eat their own shit and have to go on welfare to feed their redneck babies. Stupid redneck babies. I hate those disgusting creatures. Their speech patterns and thought processes are fully developed at 3 months of age.

Now I’m going to come out and admit that I’m not really all that fired up about this law in and of itself. I don’t mind guns. I enjoy them thoroughly in fact. I don’t believe there is going to suddenly be anarchy in the streets when people (probably very few) actually begin to legally carry their firearms. It’s fine in and of itself despite its blazing uselessness. What pisses me off is that this has been the only agenda of the Republicans for years… well that and union busting and education defunding and environmental rollbacks and religious indoctrination… but this was a simple straight forward battle and they won it commandingly. Now the redneck voters will cheer about how the grand ‘ol party of racists stood up for freedumb and ‘Merica’s greatness unlike those bleedin’ heart, tree huggin’, faggot supportin’, book readin’ liberals. Scatt Wanker has secured himself at least another 3% of the vote when the recall goes through in the months ahead. Yet the bottom line is this legislation is useless. It doesn’t do anything. It’s merely a smoke screen for the right to pander to their redneck constituents. It’s masturbatory material for the dim that they can now use to throw out there while singing: “See!? You see!? At least Walker did something, unlike that poopie… poop… face Doyle!” Tell you what, teabagger. Go over there by that busy highway. Lay down across the yellow passing line, take a few sips of your Bud Light, and catch your breath. You’re going to throw a fat embolism if you don’t take the time to relax.

"What is that up there? Oh, I'm on? Hey fellow teabaggers. Just wanted to let you know you can carry guns now. That's cool, huh? It's just that... you see... what I mean is... so... so here's the thing. It just so happens I'm afraid for my meaningless existence and am banning it in the senate chamber. Sorry teatards! Freedumb isn't free!"

So here’s the other important thing, not only am I pissed off about this legislative body’s wasting time and resources on pathetic legislation, but I’m even more angry about the bull shit double standard, NIMBY (not in my backyard), hypocritical bullshit that is a tried and true pattern of the Republicans. What am I talking about? I’m talking about this happy horse shit. The Republicans are afraid of their own fucking legislation. How pathetic is that? Fitzie boy doesn’t want guns on the senate floor or in the viewing gallery for that matter. Even their offices will be off limits. What a lame brained pseudo-human that sadistic mother fucker is… and a coward. I’m sorry, but these short sighted ignorant assholes voted for this legislation and they should have to face the “consequences” like everybody else. If people want to arm themselves and stare hungrily at these morons while they work passing more inane laws, then they should be able to do so unhindered by the fear of that blubbering fuck Fitzgerald et al. How can they be all in on this legislation and then suddenly set limits? What are you afraid of assholes? I thought the whole goal of this legislation was to make people feel safer? To create a more secure state? Moronic Republicans. They are all walking ironies. They exhaust me with their stupidity.

Of course, all of this will go by unnoticed by their intellectually dull constituents. The Republican apologists will carry on in undying support of the inanity that is the GOP. They think the Dems are the party of do nothing? How can they turn a blind eye to the Repub-lie/con party? Oh, that’s right. They’re simpletons, just like the wastes of oxygen they elect to represent them. Oh well. Guess it’s high time I got my concealed carry certificate in order to protect me and my loved ones. The zombies apocalypse approaches more with each day these degenerates shamble around. Charleton Heston, help us all! Pow pow pow pi pow!

Peace,

Sturm